Page 19 of Damned Embers


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Normally after my panic attacks, I’m not super hungry. This time though, I am starving since she mentioned it. Not sure if it’s because I slept for so long or what but I’m not going to pass up the chance to eat something. Choosing two of the burger sliders and some fries I stuff my face as fast as I can. I’m almost positive I didn’t exactly taste the food I ate but it was good nonetheless.

“Let’s get to the studio and get this day over with,” I stand and go to grab my guitar case. “Rome, while there can you do me a favor?” I had thought about it for a while during my shower about what I wanted to do about the local police no longer having the evidence I had provided to them the first time.

“What’s up?” He answers, his mouth full of food.

“I need you to go to the police department. Inquire about where the evidence I had submitted previously went. Alexandra said they didn’t have any on file, which shouldn’t be true. Do whatever you need to get to the bottom of it.” My voice is harsh as I explain exactly what I want. I’m pissed, and I know that was the news that sent me spiraling into a panic attack last night.

“You got it, though we may need your hacking skills,” he hesitantly adds.

“Just let me know what you need. I'll get it done, but don’t leave without answers.” I’m trusting him to do this because I don’t know how I’ll react if I step foot in that police station. I also don’t want to go there and the stalker escalates thinking I’m there to submit more evidence or something. We are going to do this our way because it’s clear the Coventry police department isn’t making this a priority.

A couple of minutes later, Valentina and I leave Rome behind in the room to finish eating and do his task while we head to the makeshift studio. Most of the drive is made in silence until I finally can’t take it anymore and switch the radio on. The quiet of the car ride left me too much time in my mind for it to wander and think about too many possibilities. It also gave me time to think about how Gunner stepped up and took care of me during my panic attack, making sure to safely get me back to my room. I know I should thank him for what he did but I honestly don’t know how to form those words to him. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea when I have no idea why he was so kind to me in the first place. I thought the three of them hated me.

“Remember if you need me I’ll just be on the other side of the glass,” Valentina reminds me softly.

I give her a small nod before getting out of the car. Before I close the door I lean my seat forward to reach my guitar case in the back. Rome has the SUV we drove yesterday so at the last minute the only car we could manage to rent quickly was a black Chevy Camaro. I made sure we put my name on the list of those able to drive it. There was no way in hell I was letting us return it before I took it out for a spin. It’s been a very long time since I’ve sat behind the wheel of a sports car.

Before I get a chance to even open the door to the warehouse a hand reaches out to grab me from behind. The suddenness of someone touching me makes me freeze. My hand tightens around the handle of my guitar case as I focus on my breathing and remaining calm. My back is ramrod straight from my fear taking me over. I want to run, to shake the person’s arm off but I’m too terrified to move.

“I suggest you remove your hand from her arm,” Valentina’s icey voice demands from behind me.

The subject who has their hand on me removes it quickly. When they do I feel like I can breathe again. My fear lessened enough for me to turn around and face whoever touched me. When I do I wish I hadn’t. Standing before me is Gunner. He’s wearing his usual black jeans with holes in both knees and a black band t-shirt, though I guess really it’s a tank top because he cut the sleeves off. His expression isn’t angry like I had gotten used to seeing. This time it’s softer as he looks at me, concern in his eyes.

Fuck. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid.

“Can we talk? Please,” he asks. The please was almost a whisper but I still heard it.

Sighing, I nod my head in agreement. Better to get this over with now. It’s not like I can avoid them forever.

Chapter Eleven

When Sky crashed into us in the hallway last night, I didn’t think about the past or why I was mad at her and needed distance. I saw the look in her eyes and reacted like I always have. My first instinct since we were kids was to protect her and it didn’t change last night despite all the reasons I should have left her standing in that hallway alone to deal with her panic attack.

When she looked at us, her eyes glazed over, seeing but not really seeing, I knew what was happening. After Sebastian tried to get through to her multiple times and she didn’t answer or react, my theory was confirmed. Something set Skylar off and caused her to retreat far in her mind where the fears just continued to grow. She needed fresh air and someone to ground her. Someone to remind her that she was here and safe, that nothing could get to her.

Dropping my jacket on the floor, it was pure instinct to reach around my brother and gather her in my arms. Originally, I thought about taking her to the garden Creed had discovered but I didn’t want to ruin his place of meditation. Going out front would be a bad idea. Too many people, too much traffic. The roof was going to be the best option. I could prop the door open so we could get back in. It would give her the fresh air she needs to breathe and I know how much she used to love watching the stars.

She was light in my arms, much lighter than she used to be. Her time away from us changed her and I’m not sure if it was in a good or bad way. I knew if I opened my heart to her again I would have to make sure she was eating and get some more meat on her bones. The second she was in my arms her body must have known who held her because she relaxed and curled into me knowing I’d keep her safe.

It probably wasn’t her best idea to trust me when she knows we all hate her but if that were true would I have carried her in my arms and taken care of her? I honestly don’t know anymore.

I sat on the roof with her curled up in my lap for hours. She had calmed down and fallen asleep not too long after we got out here. I should have taken her back to her room the second she relaxed and fell asleep. I couldn’t though. Having her back in my arms was a form of torture I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. If anyone asked me today I would deny every bit of what happened.

When I finally started to grow tired and Skylar began to shiver in my arms despite my body heat, I knew it was time to get her back to her room. Valentina and Rome were probably going out of their minds trying to find her. I should have cared, should have updated them but the rational part of my brain had stopped working last night. Sky would never know what I did to help her. I’d make sure of it. The time I got with her was something I’d cherish but I knew it would rip my heart out later.

As I dropped Sky off at her room, it surprised me that neither of her guards were out for my head or worried sick about where she had been. Rome wasn’t even there, and Valentine was more focused on getting Sky situated into bed. She tried to ask me questions but most answers were grunts. She didn’t deserve the answers she wanted. I couldn’t give them either because I didn’t know the answers. Eventually, she gave up and just let me go.

The rest of the night I tossed and turned trying hard to forget how good it felt having Skylar’s body pressed against me. When she was asleep I could almost think she was my Demon Queen again. She never left us and found her safety and comfort in my arms once again. The thoughts drove me wild to the point I found myself in the gym at four in the morning beating the shit out of some punching bags. It wasn’t enough but it did the trick.

When I made it back both my brothers were still asleep, giving me time to get a shower and breakfast started for them. Both of them were concerned when they saw me. Sebastian was asking questions about what happened and why I took care of Sky. I ignored both of them. I didn’t have the answers they wanted.

The rest of the morning my head and heart were a mess, warring with one another on what the right thing to do was. Sky didn’t show up for practice in the morning. Alexandra advised she was doing her own thing and would join us in the afternoon. I knew it was a lie. She probably still felt like shit and needed time to recuperate. If I remember correctly it used to take her a whole day to recover and get back to her usual self. I wanted to be there to help her and make sure she ate and showered, but I couldn’t.

There was no way I could step foot back in that room and confront her today. Not until she explained where the hell she disappeared to and why she didn’t tell us. Even then I don’t think I'd forgive her but I want an explanation and I plan on getting one.

After lunch ended, I told the guys I wanted to drive back by myself. Usually, we all stick together but I needed a break. We had spent our lunch break with Sebastian's parents so I just grabbed one of my cars next door at my parent's house and drove that. It was the Audi R8, all blacked out. Skylar loved the car and she loved it even more when I let her race it. Not many people knew how good of a racer she was. Nine times out of ten she was the one driving our cars during races when it was going to be a tough one. She let everyone always think that it was us driving when in reality it was her.

The second the car roared to life under my hands just now, I felt my pulse skyrocket. Racing cars came in third place for my favorite hobbies in life. Bass guitar, fighting, and racing. Those three things made up my life. The thrill from street racing was similar to the thrill I got from fighting. Both provided me with the adrenaline rush I needed. Today I needed the car. I wanted to test the boundaries to see if Skylar remembered last night and maybe even the things she used to do in this car.

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