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“Show me?” Daisy asked. She peered at the screen. “Oh, totally. He’s bearded. That’s sexy.”
Valentine craned to see. “Probably hiding a weak jaw under that patchy mess.”
Ariel pulled a face. “You could be right. Let’s read his opening question. Oh no. That’s not good.”
“What isn’t?” I asked.
“Instead of asking about you, which is the whole point of this section, he says this: ‘Flipping this around to let you get to know me. I’m a high earner in a fortune five hundred company. With my bonus this year, I’m investing in my crypto portfolio.’ I’m not even reading the rest of this waffle.”
Valentine tutted.
Daisy made a yuck sound. “You just know he’s the type to slobber when he kisses then expects you to swoon over him.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Rule him out, thanks.”
Ariel sighed and swiped her finger. “Guy three I’m ruling out for an offensive chat-up line.”
Valentine mooched closer. “There’s a section for that?”
She showed him. “There is. Say, Val, what would yours say if you were chatting up Mia?”
“Easy.” He braced himself on the back of an empty seat opposite me and linked his gaze to mine. “Do ye like my eyes, Mia?”
I blinked, a little dazed from his direct stare. “Yes?”
“Our kids could have them.”
There was a pause, then a choked sound. It possibly came from me.
Ariel fanned her face. “Holy hell. You’re good.”
Valentine smiled, but it was all for me. He was acting. It was just a line. But damn, did that give my heart big ideas. From his devilish smirk, he knew exactly what he’d done.
“Vallll,” a holler came from the living room.
He broke that delicious focus and raised his eyebrows. “Back to reading duties. Maybe give this up for another day, aye? Pretty sure I just set the bar at an unreachable height.”
He left us, and I slumped on the table.
“Good God. What am I supposed to do with that?” I whispered.
One of the women patted my hair. “Seems to me that you’re doing just fine,” Daisy replied.
Louder, Ariel said, “We need to bird-test all these men.”
“What’s the bird test?” I sat up, my cheeks hot.
“It’s simple. You tell the love interest something minor, like ‘Oh, I just saw a bird’. If they’re interested in your smallest musings, and engage with you on it, they’re a keeper. The study shows those relationships have much more staying power. If they dismiss you and change the subject, or worse, completely ignore you, they’re not all that into you. It’s something to do with genuine interest and them picking up what you’re laying down. I forget the details, but the principle seems easy to try out.”
My phone buzzed on the table in front of Ariel.
She handed it back to me, and I read the name on the screen.
“Oh shoot. It’s Scarlet. I’ve been meaning to call her back. I’m just going to take this.” I stood and answered, leaving the kitchen to cross the living room, smiling at the sight of Valentine patiently flipping the page of Tobi’s book.
My daughter, on the other hand, was forming her fingers into a small yawning creature. Valentine scowled at her while fighting the inevitable. Both of them cracked up when he fell.
“Hey, Mia,” Scarlet said down the phone. “Are you okay to talk?”
