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It took a long second for the answer to dawn on me. “Do ye mean Ben?” A startled laugh flew from my lips. “Are ye saying you’ve been waiting all this time for him?”
Raphael mouthed,Ben’s engaged?
Unofficially,I mouthed back.
“Don’t act shocked,” she said, her voice trembling. “We used to be friends, didn’t we? You knew me better than anyone. If things had gone as they should’ve, you’d have become my brother-in-law. We would’ve been family.”
The years I’d spent with her hit me in flashes of memory. All those long-distance phone calls when we’d chatted about our future, all the shite she’d purchased for the place that would be our home, and the whole time, she’d been living a lie. I’d expected to feel annoyance, but only pity followed.
“Ben’s very happily settled down with a woman who’s perfect for him,” I told her. “Daisy’s the best. She’s kind and sweet, and Ben adores her. I can’t imagine a better partner for him.”
“Don’t,” Kelly uttered.
Mia’s words came back to me, how I’d never tackled this. Never faced Kelly and told her off for what she’d done. It was true. What was the motto of my regiment? Nemo Me Impune Lacessit.No one provokes me with impunity.
I’d let her get away with it for far too long.
Taking a breath, I said what needed to be said. “Kelly, once, I had endless time to listen to ye, but that tolerance dissolved when I realised how you’d lied and cheated every second we were together. I’m not saying this to be cruel, it’s just a fact. Ialso discovered something about myself. I gave ye up without any kind of a fight. Now, I know that’s because what I felt never went to any real depth. It couldn’t, because ye weren’t there to meet it. I know that now because I’m with someone who actually has depths worth exploring. So let me wind this up by stating for the records that ye hurt me in the most underhand, shitty way. I carried that burden of regret for a long time and never told ye off for it. Consider this me telling ye.”
She sniffed. “You never loved me. If you had, you would’ve left the army and wanted to be with me. You liked the idea of me more than the reality.”
“That’s probably true. Doesnae excuse what ye did. I never lied. I never cheated on ye.”
“Oh, come on. All that time away and you never screwed someone outside a bar or snuck them into barracks?”
“Not once.” Though the way she so easily assumed that told me she most likely had.
Kelly gave a noise of derision. “If I was a shitty girlfriend then you’re a shitty liar.”
Raphael sat forward, his dark hair tumbling in his eyes. “After all he just said, you’re still missing the point. For fuck’s sake. Apologise to Valentine. He deserves it.”
“Who’s that?” Kelly asked.
“None of your business,” Raph snapped back, my ally in this weird-as-fuck coming of age for my emotional development.
“Fine. I’m sorry,” she bit out. “I’m more sorry for all the years I wasted on Graham men. I’m twenty-nine now and I have to compete with women a decade younger when I go out?—”
Aaand I was done. “I couldnae give a damn. I’m assuming there wasn’t anything real ye needed to talk to me about?”
“No, I just wanted to be sure about Ben.”
Click. I disconnected and in a couple of swipes, blocked her once again. Then I heaved a deep breath.
“Brutal,” Raphael breathed. “How did it feel?”
“Unreal. Freeing. I avoided that for so long because I thought if I spoke to her, I’d have to handle emotions I really didn’t want to feel again.” I eyed him. “I figured she’d broken my heart so badly, but I know I was a fucking fool.”
He pointed at me, grinning from ear to ear. “Because you’re in love with Mia.”
On that, I bit my tongue. No way was I telling him before her. Even though Mia had been the one to inform me.
“Next stop, I need to talk to my brother,” I said instead.
“Ben and Daisy are out for the evening. By the end of the tour, he was cranky as fuck over missing her. Can it wait until morning? You’ll get a better reception if he’s… Ye know.”
“If he got laid all night? Fuck. Fine.”
Raphael chuffed a laugh.
