Page 17 of Mated to the Amarok


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I paused atop a ridge overlooking a valley bathed in silver light. My chest rose and fell with deep breaths that did little to ease the tightness within. Below, the world lay peaceful and undisturbed by human concerns or Amarok quandaries.

Eyes closed, a world untouched by revelations or desires. But even here, amidst this tranquility, her image haunted me—her smile that held warmth like sunshine breaking through clouds; her voice that resonated with a courage I both admired and envied.

Hours slipped by as I remained there—guardian and ghost—lost between what I knew and what I feared to discover about myself. The night air grew colder as dew settled on my fur like tears from unseen eyes.

When at last I returned to the cave, it was with heavy steps—each one echoing a refrain of confusion and conflict that clung tighter than shadows at midnight.

The cave’s embrace, with its familiar scent of earth and fire, lulled me into a sleep I didn't intend to succumb to. Flames danced and crackled, casting a warm glow on the walls as I sat with my back against the cool stone. Claudia, wrapped in the furs I offered her, lay quiet and still—a peaceful contrast to the storm that brewed within me.

As my eyes grew heavy and my body relaxed into an unintended slumber, thoughts chased each other in circles through my mind. I understood the nature of my kind—Amarok males required solitude like lungs craved air. It was an ingrained part of our existence, necessary for our well-being. On my home planet, it was common for us to venture alone into the wilds, to hunt and roam without the presence of others. The females of our species honored this need without question or resentment.

Yet here on Earth, with Claudia by my side, I found myself caught between worlds and expectations. She was not Amarok; her understanding of solitude differed from mine. How could I convey this part of my nature without causing her pain or making her feel abandoned?

In the dimming light of the fire, as dreams flirted with the edges of my consciousness, I resolved to share these truths with her—to bare a piece of my soul that she might grasp the depth of my need for isolation. It wasn't a rejection, but rather a fundamental part of me.

My last waking thought was a vow to explain it all when morning came.

But as dawn’s fingers crept across the cave floor and stirred me from sleep, I realized with a start that Claudia already awakened. The furs lay empty beside me, and I felt a pang in my chest at her absence.

Rising quickly, I found her seated near the mouth of the cave, her gaze fixed on the landscape painted in soft hues by the rising sun. She didn’t turn as I approached—a silent sentinel keeping watch over a world she sought to understand.

“Claudia,” I began, my voice tentative in the quiet morning air. My nature as amarok holds something you should know.

She finally looked at me then, her expression an unreadable canvas. The hurt in her eyes struck me sharper than any blade I wielded.

“Amaroks... we need time alone,” I continued, each word measured. “It’s not just a preference, but a necessity. It’s how we maintain balance within ourselves.”

Her lips parted slightly as if to speak, but no words came forth.

“It doesn’t mean that you’re less important or that what we share is insignificant,” I said quickly, eager to bridge the gap between us before it widened further. “It’s simply how we’re wired.”

I paused, searching her face for signs of understanding or forgiveness.

“Claudia,” I implored softly, stepping closer so that she could see the sincerity etched in every line of my face. “Please believe that this has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

She held my gaze then—the silence stretching between us like a taut wire before she finally spoke.

“I want to understand, Zunnik,” she whispered. “I really do.”

Emotion thickened her voice—a blend of acceptance and hurt, tugging at me.

I reached out tentatively and placed a hand on her shoulder—a gesture meant to convey reassurance and solidarity.

The fire behind us sputtered and popped—a dying symphony to this moment where two beings from different worlds attempted to navigate an uncharted course together.

11

Claudia

I watched Zunnik melt into the forest, his silhouette dissolving among the evergreens like ink in water. The air grew still, and for a moment, I held my breath, half-expecting him to reappear and say it was all a mistake. But the forest remained silent, indifferent to the turmoil inside me.

"Return before night," his low rumble hinted at our shared tension. His eyes avoided mine, a stark contrast to the intensity that often flickered within them.

I sat on a rock, pulling my knees close. His words echoed in my head—words about Amarok nature, solitude. I heard similar excuses before, from men whose eyes couldn’t meet mine as they spoke ofspaceandfreedom. It was a language I knew all too well—the prelude to departure.

I stood up, brushing dirt from my pants. My gaze swept over the cave that became a refuge, our refuge. It felt colder now, hollowed out by his absence and what it signified. I packed methodically, each item finding its place in my backpack with a finality that weighed on my chest.

The sleeping bag—ours now—seemed heavier as I rolled it tightly. Our shared warmth still lingered in its fibers, a cruel reminder of what had been. I secured it to the bottom of my pack with clipped movements.

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