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Then she noticed that he was still holding Ziggy in his hand. In fact, he was holding him . . . by his tail.
She let out an outraged squeak and grabbed her poor toy, cradling him against her chest. Then she patted his head and crooned to him soothingly.
Did she look like a crazy person?
Yes.
Was she going to stop?
No.
She waited for Ian to say something derogatory. For him to give her that look that said he thought she was insane.
Instead, weirdly, his face softened. Like he thought she was cute or something.
It was strange. Yet she wanted more.
“What’s its name?”
“His name is Ziggy.” She swallowed heavily. She could feel the need to fall into Little headspace. All she wanted was to be carefree for a while. To forget that she had worries and responsibilities.
But you can’t. This isn’t a safe space.
She was shocked that the urge was so strong. Typically, she only allowed herself to go into Little headspace when she was alone with the door locked.
And even that never made her feel entirely safe. So why did it feel like she could slip into Little headspace right now?
“Ziggy is cute.” Ian crouched in front of her, almost as though he was trying to make himself seem less intimidating.
That was weird.
And it didn’t work. He’d be intimidating even if he was lying down. She couldn’t imagine a time that he wouldn’t be intimidating.
“Shh.” She covered Ziggy’s ears. “You’ll give him a big ego.”
“Sorry. I’ll refrain from calling him handsome.”
She nodded solemnly. Then she closed her eyes for a moment. What was she doing? There was no way she should let this man see her Little.
It wasn’t safe.
“Maggie? You okay?”
“Can we just pretend you never saw Ziggy?” she asked in a small voice without opening her eyes.
There was a beat of silence.
“Little Misfit,” he murmured, placing his hand on her thigh.
“Please.” It killed her to beg. But she didn’t want anyone to know . . . she didn’t think she could survive the embarrassment.
Imagine if her parents ever discovered this about her? Her siblings? Uncle Willy?
Even Uncle Willy wouldn’t understand this.
She wouldn’t hurt him like that.
You’re an embarrassment and a failure.
