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“H-how long has it been since you lost her?” I asked, wiping away a tear.
“Almost three years,” he answered, pushing a box of tissues towards me.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. I’m about to give you the crash course to Surviving the Holidays with Anthony 101.”
“I feel like I should be paying you for this,” I laughed.
He grinned and waved my check at me.
“You got it covered. First, communicate how you’re feeling to your loved ones. There is nothing wrong with saying you’re overwhelmed and need time to yourself. Second, forgive yourself.”
I tilted my head in confusion. “Forgive myself?”
“I can’t speak for you, but I know there were times I nearly bit Jonathan’s head off. It’s normal to become frustrated and lash out.”
I nodded, recalling times I felt highly agitated after Rory’s death and had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from snapping at Kiyah. It never happened, but I was close.
“Third, keep Rory’s memory alive. Don’t neglect the traditions you used to do together.”
I nodded. My therapist said something similar.
“Fourth, don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel guilty for crying, and don’t feel guilty for being alive. I struggled the most with this. I kept telling myself that she should be here and that it should’ve been me instead.”
“Survivor’s guilt.”
Anthony snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “You got it. And finally, last but not least, start a new tradition.”
“What’s your new tradition?” I asked, hoping to get some ideas.
“This year, I want to make gingerbread treats for my girls since Simone can’t seem to get enough.”
I snorted. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she births a gingerbread baby.”
“I told her the same thing.”
“Are there any traditions that the Bakers enjoy?”
“Decorating the Christmas tree and stockings on Thanksgiving after dessert. What about you?”
“We’d watch the football game on Thanksgiving, and Kiyah and Rory would snap the wishbone. We’d also make ornaments for the tree up until Christmas. On Christmas, we loved to make and eat homemade Rice Krispy treats.”
“You can count the Powell family in for Rice Krispy making.”
“Thank you for the head’s up.”
We spoke for a while, swapping stories about our dearly departed until there was a knock at the office door.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Simone said, poking her head in the door.
“Not at all. Is it time to go?” I asked, checking the time on my watch. I hissed through my teeth. Time had gotten away from us.
“Yeah, we’re cutting it close,” she said, bringing Daisy and Nori into the office with her. They sprinted for the play area Anthony had set up in the corner.
“I’m gonna go say bye to Kiyah and the boys and wait for you in the foyer. Bye, Daisy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She dropped the toy she was holding and popped her head up like a prairie dog. “I go home,” she said.
