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“You really should,” I said honestly.
“I don’t suppose they’ll help with child care, though?”
“They might.” I wasn’t sure I wanted those two to take care of my kid. I leaned closer to Aurora to whisper, “Won’t you look at me?”
She turned to me with narrowed eyes, but the blush on her cheeks was exactly what I wanted to see. “You’re not the only one around.”
She moved to the sofa and sank down beside Alessio. Her hair was in a high ponytail, revealing her beautiful neck I wanted to mark as mine. I’d never left a hickey on anyone, but with Aurora, I couldn’t wait to change that. I would have loved to tease her a bit more about our kitchen adventure yesterday, but I had a feeling she’d avoid being alone with me.
Massimo got up and came over to me with an analytic expression. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t even go over to the kid, and he barely reacted to your presence, so I suppose you two haven’t bonded yet.”
“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to bond with him at all.”
“You don’t want to be part of his life? Then why keep him here? Why not tell your parents about him and let them or my parents adopt him.”
“I don’t think I should be a father, and I don’t think I want to be. If I tell them, they’ll make me choose right away, but I want more time to consider my options.”
“Or more time to spend with Aurora.”
Aurora glanced our way as if she’d heard our conversation. I visited daily because of her, not because of my kid. Maybe he’d eventually grow on me. She dragged her eyes away again.
Massimo’s gaze moved from Aurora to Carlotta.
“You always say you don’t believe in deities,” I muttered.
Massimo’s gaze slanted over to me again, and he cocked an eyebrow in a mix of annoyance and boredom. “Didn’t you give up on drugs?”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t believe in anything. Sex is merely a bodily outlet for you. And you despise religion and conservative views, yet you regard Lotti as if she were the most revered goddess on your altar.”
His brows furrowed, jaw setting in a tight line. “I simply admire the perfect angles of her face. It’s rare for nature to follow the perfect geometrical patterns to create something this pleasing to the eye.”
I could admit that Carlotta was pretty, but Aurora was in a league of her own. Where Carlotta was sweet, Aurora was stunning in a memorable way. “Whatever. You can’t fuck her before marriage, and you’ll have to marry in a church if you want to pierce her hymen, so better find someone else with good geometrical patterns.”
“A hymen can’t be pierced in most cases—”
He cut himself off, seeing my expression. “It’s not logical to postpone sex to marriage.”
“You don’t have to tell me.” I wanted nothing more than to sleep with Aurora, but a part of me wondered if I wasn’t making things worse. I couldn’t date Aurora. Already this commitment of coming over daily felt like being on a leash. The Camorra and my family already limited my freedom. I wasn’t sure if my frenzied brain could take more.
In the five days that followed Massimo’s and Alessio’s surprise visit, I quickly realized that not much had changed. I had managed to avoid being alone with Nevio the one time he’d come over to help out with Battista. Though his help really only consisted of him buying everything Battista needed and bringing takeout.
When I was invited over to the Falcones for dinner with my family on the third day, I considered telling them, but I simply couldn’t bring myself to break Nevio’s trust, which didn’t even make sense, considering how much turmoil he’d spread in my life since our night at the party.
Both Dad and Nevio still sported bruises. Alessio had hinted at their training fight having gotten a bit too enthusiastic. But Dad hadn’t questioned me about Nevio again. Only Mom had once again emphasized that I could talk to her about everything, which made me feel even more horrible for lying to them.
During dinner, I pointedly ignored Nevio, though he tried to catch my eyes several times. I could hardly stop blushing with mortification when I thought of what we’d done, and looking at him would have only worsened my reaction. I didn’t need to give Dad more reason to be suspicious.
I wished my body wouldn’t always heat with longing whenever I thought of how Nevio had claimed me with the handle of his knife. Even just thinking about it again made my thighs clamp up, and my core tighten.
When Kiara and Serafina got up to clean up the dishes and take them to the kitchen, I did as well. I was glad for the distraction as I helped them.
I loaded the dishwasher while Kiara filled the sink with hot water to clean the pans.
“I love my son, but I know he’s quite a handful, and that’s putting it mildly,” Serafina said suddenly from behind me, almost giving me a heart attack.
I straightened with a tight smile. “I’ve known him all my life. I know who he is.” Yet I had to admit part of my previous perception of Nevio had been grounded on infatuation. Unlike in my fantasy, Nevio hadn’t miraculously turned into a doting and loving boyfriend. He’d become the insistent, obsessed hunter more fitting for his personality.
Kiara dried her hands and came to Serafina’s side, both of them bestowing me with understanding smiles. “We know you do. We just want to make sure you know we won’t judge you if you want a bit of distance from Nevio.”
