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Nevio chuckled. “You’re right. You were off-limits. And I’m usually a hell of a good time.”
I wondered if his use of the word “were” meant I was no longer off-limits in his mind, and if he would have sex with me if I asked. What had changed? “Why was I off-limits and am no longer? Is this some sort of the present was already opened so now it doesn’t matter anymore?”
I hated the idea that it was like that. I wouldn’t have pegged Nevio the old-fashioned type, but maybe I was simply delusional when it came to him.
Nevio’s brows snatched together, and his mouth built a hard line. “What a heap of bullshit.” He bent down so his face was right above mine. I froze. “Aside from the fact that I doubt I really opened your present that night, considering I passed out on the first push, you were off-limits for a myriad of reasons that had nothing to do with the state of your hymen.”
He had that directness from Massimo, and it still flustered me every time.
I didn’t say that considering how much it had hurt, I doubted the present wasn’t opened. “Name one,” I dared him.
“You are Fabiano’s daughter.”
I rolled my eyes because it was the obvious one, but for some reason, I doubted it was the main one. “You’re not someone who lets social rules or conventions stop him from something he wants. I was just one of the guys for you. That’s it.”
Nevio didn’t contradict me. “I don’t think you’re one of the guys now.”
I swallowed. “It’s irrelevant. I never wanted and still don’t want anything casual. I want a serious relationship.”
“Then you picked the wrong guy.”
“So you can stop stalking me now since we both agree there won’t ever be anything between us. I should be free to look for someone who wants to be in a serious relationship with me.”
The thunderous look in his eyes gave me an answer before his mouth did.
Anger surged through me. No way in hell was I allowing anyone to touch Aurora. Maybe I wasn’t relationship material. Hell, most days I wasn’t even bare-human-interactions material, but I couldn’t give Rory free. She felt like mine in some strange way I couldn’t explain. Maybe she had always felt a little like mine, but in the past, I’d never had to worry that she’d pull away. She had been a constant in my life, her adoration of me a familiar presence. Until I’d fucked up that night.
For her, that night ended her obsession with me and started mine with her. I wanted to return to how it had been. The kid let out a small cry, destroying the moment. I pulled back so Aurora could roll over to him. She lightly rubbed Battista’s back and made a low shushing noise, which seemed to work as his eyes remained closed. I rose to my feet. It was strange seeing Aurora console Battista. Not because I’d never seen her console someone. She had a huge heart, so naturally, she was the consoler in our huge group of friends and family. This was strange because she was consoling my kid—fuck,mykid—as if it were her own. Caring and loving as she was born.
My instincts were of a very different nature.
I wouldn’t have known what to do with the kid if it started bawling. I still couldn’t wrap my head around his being here and mine.
What was I supposed to do with a kid?
I didn’t want that kind of responsibility, and no matter who you asked, they would tell you that I wasn’t a person who should be handed this sort of responsibility either. Aurora knew it too, which was probably another reason she’d quickly agreed to take care of him. She was probably worried I’d lock him in a basement if he cried too loudly.
I tore my eyes from Rory and my son, hating how confused the sight left me, how it reminded me of my deficits. Deficits I usually used to my advantage, but in a situation like this, they were just that: deficits.
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to refocus. I glanced at Rory’s butt to get me in another mindset. She was in high-rise jean shorts, which allowed me to see the dip below her ass globes and thighs the way she was stretched out.
Rory cleared her throat, and I gave her a dirty smile.
“Battista will sleep between us tonight so he can’t fall out,” she said pointedly.
I rounded the bed and stretched out on the other side. I hadn’t expected there to be any action tonight.
She wanted me to redeem myself at the very least. But the road to redemption was closed to me.
Maybe that would change if Rory and I started getting it on, or maybe not. Maybe that kind of emotional bond would always elude me. Rory didn’t want to risk it, and a part of me was glad because it protected her from me. But the other part, which was unfortunately growing by day, wanted her no matter the price.
“Can you turn off the lights?”
“Aren’t you worried about being in the dark with me?” I was only half joking.
“Does it make a difference?” She sounded tired.
In the dark, the monster was always closer to the surface, harder to control and cage in. But Rory was right, that monster didn’t call out for her.
