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I know it’s an illusion, but I pretend for the moment that I want to be led around by him. I allow myself to just put one foot in front of the other, not thinking about my turning stomach, how cold I feel, the ache in my ribs, and the general unwell feeling that’s threatening to fell me.
I plod along in this trance-like state for a long time, and when I come back to myself, I find that the sun is setting, and my body feels so weary and cold that I actually yearn for my hard bed at the academy.
We come upon the Gate we’re heading for a few minutes later, which is covered in vines and looks like no one’s come this way in a long time. Grey walks around it, inspecting it thoroughly.
‘Is it working?’ Dane asks.
He nods. ‘Yes, you can see where the vines haven’t been allowed to grow. It’s an infrequent Bridge, but it works.’
‘When do you think it’ll open?’
Grey shrugs. ‘It looks like the vines have new growth from where they’ve been destroyed before, so I’d guess it’s soon, but there’s no way of telling unless we can find a box.’ He looks at the sky. ‘Kallum, take the Harbinger and gather firewood, but don’t go too far and be back before the sun sets. Dane and I will look around for the box.’
Kallum tugs the rope, and I follow him, too tired to even make a pretense of fighting him.
‘What’s the box?’ I whisper.
I’m surprised when he answers.
‘Where there are Gates with no caretakers like this one, there’s usually a box nearby that holds information on the frequency of opening and where the Breach goes.’
I nod. ‘That makes sense.’
‘Yes, it does.’ He sounds amused, and I wonder what’s funny, but I don’t ask.
I begin following him around, picking up good-sized dry sticks from the forest floor. After a few minutes, I feel his eyes on me. He’s staring.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘You. Helping when you haven’t been ordered to.’
I keep gathering. ‘You know I’m not actually a slave, don’t you? Besides, you said it yourself. There are dangerous creatures in the trees. If we’re going to be camping here, my life depends on fire to keep them at bay as much as yours does.’
He doesn’t reply, but when I turn to see if he heard me, I find him very close to me with a dark look on his face. I jump back a bit, trying to put some distance between us, but he tightens his hand on the rope, so I can’t retreat.
‘What if I’m the most dangerous creature in this forest?’ he smirks. ‘At least to you, Lia?’
He whispers my name like a caress, and his gaze on me is unwavering. Predatory. His fingers graze my cheek lightly as if he’s checking that I’m real, and his expression hardens when I flinch away from his touch.
‘You’re cold,’ he says quietly.
I don’t answer.
‘I could warm you up.’
It’s the pleading note in his tone that undoes me. Even though he’s as dangerous as he says. Even though he’s cruel and he hates me.
‘I’m the Harbinger,’ I say, but the words have no force behind them, and before I know it, my free hand is slowly tracing the line where his blond hair meets his face.
‘I don’t know what you want from me,’ I murmur, my dull eyes searching his feverishly bright ones.
They’re tortured and almost scared. Maybe I could make him feel better somehow. Maybe I could do something to make someone feel better … help instead of hurt. But I already know it’s too little, too late and the weight of the shroud suddenly becomes unbearable.
His expression changes, and he has his hand around my throat so quickly that my fingers are still on his face when he presses me back into a tree.
I bite back my cry as he grinds my back against the rough bark, but my eyes stay on his.
‘I don’t want or need your touch!’ he snarls, and whatever vulnerability was in his eyes a moment ago is gone. ‘But you’ll have mine!’
