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She cringes. ‘He would … touch me sometimes, but I didn’t like it.’
‘Didn’t you tell Varrik?’
She closes her eyes. ‘Grith said no one would believe me and, even if they did, they wouldn’t care because … I was meant to be his anyway.’
‘Enough of this,’ Kallum says angrily and takes the sheet. He puts it over her.
‘I don’t care how much you hate her,’ he says very quietly. ‘Her first anything with a male is not going to be like this. You’re thinking of her as the Harbinger. Think of her as a female, and perhaps you’ll get further with her.’
Dane doesn’t say a word, and she doesn’t fight Kallum as he pulls her up from the table and carries her to the bed. He tucks her in and lays next to her, murmuring in soothing tones and casting angry looks at us.
Dane sits heavily in the chair Kallum vacated. ‘I thought we could just get her used to it. I assumed she’d have …’ He shakes his head. ‘We need a different plan and soon.’
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kallum lies with me and talks to me about nothing until I fall asleep. If he notices the tears I try to keep hidden, he doesn’t say anything, and I’m grateful for that, at least.
I didn’t want them to know about the things Grith used to do. I thought they’d use it against me. I’m afraid they still will. After all, we aren’t friends. Despite them taking care of me, I have to remember that.
But try as I might, I know that the lines between us are already blurring. I like them. Some more than others, I’ll admit, but maybe there’s a future with them somehow.
I can’t help them kill, but maybe I could still travel with them, help in other ways. It’s not as if I have anywhere else to go, and it’s definitely safer for me out in the wilds if we can come to some kind of agreement wherein I’m free even if we pretend to the outside that I’m not. I fall to sleep to thoughts of what could be, dreams that seem a little bit closer than my plan of finding a way back to the Light Realm.
* * *
‘What about you?’ Kal asks me the next morning after he’s made me the horrible tea I have to drink to get over the Breach Blet.
It’s early, and both Dane and Grey aren’t in the room. Kallum is lying by my side, propped up on one arm and watching me, making sure I finish my cup. He does this more than the others, I’ve realized. Ever since that night when I was too weak to piss alone, he’s become my sort-of caretaker. He makes sure I eat and drink. He draws me baths and I’ve even seen him washing my clothes.
I don’t want to like it and I wonder if he’s read these things in that infernal book about human females and bulls, though I didn’t see anything about them when I skimmed it with my wide, aghast eyes the other day.
But no one’s ever taken care of me like this before and I do like it. More than I should.
‘What about me?’ I ask.
‘You’ve never brought yourself to climax?’
I feel a blush creeping over my skin, and I know he notices when his lips turn upward just a bit.
‘Yes,’ I admit. ‘Sometimes in my room in the servant’s quarters at the academy.’
‘Show me.’
I blink at him. ‘You want me to do it … with you here?’
He nods, and I shake my head immediately.
He sighs and sits up. ‘Lia, you need to be able to walk into a room, bare yourself, and then let one of us manually stimulate you until you come in public. You have to admit, letting me watch you pleasure yourself is a good place to begin. I’ll be able to learn what you like, and later, I can try some things while we lay here alone.’
I stare at him, trying to find his angle other than the most obvious, but his idea does have merit. Laying here with just him is preferable to being bent over the table while Dane shoves his fingers into me, and the other two watch him do it. I can’t imagine ever finding pleasure from that.
I nod slowly. ‘All right.’
He doesn’t grin or laugh, just puts his hand over mine and squeezes it gently. He seems relieved as he rises and moves across the room.
‘We have time now before the others get back. I can sit over here in the chair quietly. You can pretend that you’re all alone if you like.’
I chuckle. As if I could ever pretend he’s not watching me. But I nod again, if a little shakily. Am I really going to do this?
