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“You suck,” Lake scoffs as she rummages through the sweatshirts hanging on one end of the closet, while I work my way toward her at the other end.
Snatching a black hoodie off the hanger, I hold it up with both hands. It’s not a Misfit hoodie, but it's got a teal lightning bolt across the chest that matches the school colors. I tip my head back and forth, contemplating the option. “Hmm. I think this’ll do.”
Lake stretches her neck out to look at it. “Nice.” Then she holds up one she found. A Misfits crewneck. A bratty chuckle climbs up her throat. “Mine’s better.”
I hiss at her. “Now you suck.”
We leave the closet and I kick through the mess on Brogan’s floor. She has to be the biggest slob I’ve ever met in my life. And if you asked her, she would tell you I’m the biggest neat freak. Although, I think Rome might be a close second because his room is spotless, too.
Lake sits down on Brogan’s bed and pulls her phone out of her bra before grabbing her bowl of cereal off the nightstand. “Have you seen Wilder’s latest SnapTok video?” She laughs. “The guy is such a tool. How in the world does he have over a hundred thousand followers?”
“All girls,” I tell her. “Girls love good-looking guys who do dumb shit.”
And don’t I know it.
I sit down beside Lake while she scrolls through her phone, stopping every couple seconds to take a bite of her cereal.With the sweatshirt balled in my lap, I peer over at her. Lake and I haven’t talked much lately. My sisters and I were always so close, but lately it seems like none of us have time for one another.
“How’s school been going for you?” I ask her, opening up the conversation.
“Eh.” She shrugs. “It’s school. They’re all the same. Willow Creek is pretty much Bakersfield with more people.”
“Do you miss your old friends?” She puts her phone down to look at me.
“Sometimes. But I still talk to them.” She lifts her head momentarily. “How about you? Are you and Maggie still close?”
I think about my friend who I haven’t talked to in well over a week. Life gets busy with school and drama so easily. “We text once in a while, and she’s planning to come visit soon. But we’ve both just been super busy with the new school year.”
Lake lifts her eyebrows. “And Ethan?”
I laugh. “Hell no. Ethan can drop off the face of the earth for all I care.”
Ethan is my ex who dumped me right before I moved. He never actually said the words, but he didn’t have to. We haven’t spoken since and I have no desire to ever speak to him again. There was a time I thought I loved him, but after everything I’ve been feeling these last few days, I know I didn’t.
“Holy shit!” Lake blurts out, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as she picks her phone back up. “El!” She turns her phone around, showing me her SnapTok account and a video playing on her feed. “Is that you?” She gushes. “Oh my God! Eleven thousand views already!”
I gulp, grabbing the phone out of her hand. It feels like all the blood has left my body as I watch the video of me dancing at the party.
My hands shake uncontrollably and I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
I hear my phone buzzing from my room next door, over and over again as I sit there watching myself acting like a fool on repeat. I’ve seen the video all of two times and every time it feels worse, and even more so now that I know I was drugged.
A call comes through on Lake’s phone from Brogan, then a few text messages pop up from random people. The phone slips out of my hand, landing on the bed.I shake my head and try to get to my feet, but trip over something on the floor. Steadying myself, I press my hands to the mattress. “This can’t be happening,” I say to Lake. “Why would he do this to me?”
Nothing makes sense, but at the same time, everything does. Rome played me. He fucking played me just like he said he would.
None of this was real. It was all just a sick joke to him.
I straighten my back, pulling myself together, then rush out of Brogan’s room. Before I even make it in mine, Lake is by my side. “It’s just a dance, El. No one cares. It’ll blow over.”
Tears stream down my face. “No, Lake.” I drop my head to my hands. “It’s so much more than that. It’s more than you’ll ever understand.” I go into my room and slam the door shut, making sure to click the lock.
This isn’t even about the video, or the fact that the admissions office at Stanford might get it. Who knows, Rome might have sent it to them already. After all, he threatened to. This is about Rome and how he pulled my heart out of my chest and crushed it in the palm of his hand.
This is what he wanted all along.
I want it to hurt. Your cries are a sweet symphony to my ears. I want to be the reason for every tear that falls down your pretty little face. You fucked my life up, and now I plan to return the favor.
That’s exactly what he said to me. And now he’s won. He returned the favor and he’s destroyed my life—my reputation, and my faith that people can change.
