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“It’s the least I could do,” Kyle said. “I owe Sebastian my life. The least I could do is help his son.”
“Thank you, Kyle. Keep me updated on any developments, and don't hesitate to reach out.”
Then we were through the gate, leaving the pack lands for the first time in months. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.
“Sebastian truly inspired loyalty in all those he knew, didn’t he?” I mused, reflecting on Kyle’s steadfast promise to assist the clan however he could. “I wonder what happened with him saving Kyle. Do you know?”
Evan shook his head as he drove in silence for a few minutes. It reminded me of last night, when he’d lain awake in bed as if something were on his mind. I hadn’t pressed then, but we had a long two-day drive ahead of us.
“Evan,” I said softly. “Is everything okay?”
He sighed, glancing in the mirror at Jax and Sofia still snoozing away. “It hasn’t been easy reaching out to Sebastian’s allies like this.”
“No?” He hadn’t spoken of this before.
“Everyone loves Sebastian. His reputation is pristine. The clan loved him, too. Loyalty runs deep with everyone who knew him. He was an incredible alpha, don’t get me wrong. He deserves all their respect.” He glanced at me. “But lately…I just wonder where all that loyalty was when I was banished.”
“Oh, Evan.” I reached for his hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “I had no idea you were feeling this way.” I didn’t blame him one bit for it. He and Sebastian had reconciled, but he’d still lived half a lifetime believing lies.
He let out a rough laugh, but there was no humor in it. “I made peace with it. We found a way to move past it, but there are moments where it still hurts that Sebastian could send me away so easily.”
I gripped his hand tighter, giving him what small comfort I could. “If it makes you feel any better, you aren’t the only one working to hold it together,” I said. “This trip scares the hell out of me.”
Evan shot me a surprised look. “You’re keeping that one hidden pretty well if even your mate can’t sense it.”
I grinned but had a feeling it was more of a grimace.
“Want to talk about it?”
Did I? I knew he wouldn’t push me if I wasn’t ready, but I just needed to get it off my chest. “This visit to the prison is just bringing a lot of stuff up for me. You know, I thought I hated my mother for everything, for abandoning me with my aunt and leaving as if she never cared at all. And maybe I did, but how can you hate someone you never really knew? The more I learn, the more I realize the person I thought I knew may have had an entire other life.”
Evan’s dark eyes filled with empathy. “I can understand why you feel that way. You’ve been dealt quite a shock with all of this. Things you never could have seen coming. You’re not sure what might pop up next.”
And that was a big part of my fear. My mother had come and gone so sporadically, I’d never really had a relationship with her. The resentment was still there, even though I’d tried to let it go, but being abandoned wasn’t something you just forgot. It stuck with you.
“Part of me has this stupid, ridiculous hope that I wasn’t abandoned. That my mother was murdered and that’s why she never came back. But what if that isn’t the truth? Am I being foolish?”
Evan reached over, resting a hand on my thigh and squeezing, his warmth pouring into me. I was never more grateful for the safe space he held for me, where I could bear my soul without fear or judgment.
“Mariah, no matter what we discover about your mother, nothing will change how much I love you and how proud I am of the woman you are today. You're strong, capable, and fiercely devoted to your family. That's who you are, and that’s what matters, regardless of your past and the truth about your mother.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. I know it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but I can't help but think she never really loved me, and that terrifies me. I want to hang on to this hope that I wasn’t abandoned.” I thought back to what Evan said and how similar our situations were. My voice was thick with emotion when I said, “I’m glad you were able to make peace with Sebastian before his death.”
It was something I’d never get the chance to do.
“I get it,” Evan said. “I’ve struggled with my own demons. All those years that were lost, and for what? It took years before we could forge a new path forward once the truth came out. I'm not saying your situation will be identical, Mariah. I definitely don’t want to get your hopes up, but there could be more to your mother's story than you think.”
“Maybe.” My heart ached with hope and fear in equal measure. “I just don't want to walk away from this feeling even more abandoned than I already do.”
“Whatever we find, we'll face it together,” Evan said. “You're not alone in this. You’ll never be alone again.”
The drive was uneventful, and the three of us took turns driving, only taking breaks when Sofia needed it. We made good time, but it was dark by the time we got to Tennessee, and Sofia was starting to lose any remaining shred of patience with being in the car seat.
“There’s a hotel about five miles ahead if we need to stop for the night,” Jax told us after he’d been searching on his phone for a few minutes. “I’m about ready to get back to it if there’s decent Wi-Fi.”
Evan chuckled. “Do you ever take a break?”
“Not with Tomas still free. I want to hack into his finances and see what he’s been up to today. I’ll let you know if I find anything of note."
