AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“So, then, if the people in charge say you guys are married, why don’t they want to say that I’m your baby?” Noah asked. “If you share everything, don’t you share me too?”
I should have seen that question coming and not walked straight into it. This conversation was veering into a level of complexity that I wasn’t sure would be fully grasped by a child, but I would do my best to help him understand it. I turned into the aisle where the cleaning supplies were and started to grab a few things while I considered how I would make this digestible without inadvertently hurting little Noah’s heart.
“Yes, we share you,” I said. “Sometimes, the people in charge are especially careful when children are involved because you’re small, and they don’t want you to get hurt by people who may not be the nicest.”
“But you’re extra nice,” he said, sounding almost distressed. “And I want you to be my momma. If I tell the people in charge, will they let you be my momma? I don’t want to get in trouble for calling you momma, and I don’t want you to get in trouble for calling me baby.”
“I won’t get in trouble! And neither will you, sweet boy,” I promised him.
“What if Auntie Ginger has to arrest you because of me?” He asked, his anxiety starting to build and tears coming to his eyes. “What if she has to put me in jail?”
“Shh, shh, shh,” I cooed, stopping the cart and lifting him out of the basket, holding him close to me and starting to do a gentle sway. He was heavy, but I’d put up with it to calm him down.
“We’re not going to jail, Noah,” I whispered into his ear, patting the middle of his back in a gentle tempo to help him calm down. “We’re not going to jail; we’re not doing anything wrong. Not at all, okay?”
“You promise?” he asked, wrapping his arms around my neck.
“I promise,” I said. “Remember when I used to be your teacher at school? Remember when we learned about family trees?”
“Y-yeah,” he said, sniffling softly.
“Remember how sometimes our families look different? How sometimes aunties and uncles can be more like moms and dads? Or how sometimes people grow up with friends who are more like family?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s like what we are,” I said gently. “I may not legally be your momma, but in my mind and in your dad’s mind, I am your momma. And we don’t need the people in charge to tell us that, okay? If you want me to be your momma, then I am your momma.”
“So…so I can just pick my family?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said. “The only thing that decides who is in your family is the love in your heart for them. Okay?”
“O-okay,” Noah said, squeezing me tighter. “I love you, m-momma,” he said in almost a whisper.
“I love you, too, baby,” I said, kissing his cheek. “Forever and always.”
I set him back into the shopping cart, and we were once again on our way. While we looked at swatches in the paint department, Noah spoke up again. He was much more calm now, but I could see a cautious curiosity on his face as he formed the inquiry on his lips.
“Do you…still want to adopt me?” he asked.
“Of course I do,” I said as I picked up a few different shades of green.
“How come you haven’t yet?” he asked. “Do you think the people in charge will say no?”
I didn’t really know how to answer that question. Since Cole and I had gotten home from our modified honeymoon, we had so many other things to take care of that we’d let other priorities fall by the wayside. Once we’d discovered that there would be a vetting process we’d have to go through to let me formally adopt Noah, we figured it was better to wait until headquarters was fully renovated and we had pack members’ tension and conflict under control. The last thing we needed was for a social worker to take a look at things and tell us we were unfit to raise a child.
But that explanation was more for adults. To a kid, I knew saying something like that would make it seem like he wasn’t important to me, and that was just patently untrue.
Still, I didn’t want to lie to Noah. He deserved comfort when it came to me, especially when I had no qualms about having him as my legal son. I was quiet for a long moment—maybe too long of a moment, I couldn’t be sure. Finally, I figured out what I wanted to say.
“I don’t think the people in charge will say no,” I assured him. “But it’s so important to me that the people in charge say yes that I’m being extra, extra careful. We have to make sure the mansion looks pretty and finished, and that everything is calm and safe so that when they come to meet me, they see how badly I want to be an amazing momma to you. Does that make sense?”
Noah paused for a moment. “Like how daddy tells me to clean my room when I’m going to have a friend over? Even when we’re just going to make a big mess again?”
“Exactly right,” I said with a smile. He was so smart—it always amazed me.
He nodded, his face sobering adorably as he absorbed that information. “So, that’s why we’re here getting paints and lights? So you can be my momma for real?”
“That’s right,” I said. “Everything your dad and I do is to make sure you’re happy and healthy and taken care of.”
