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I don’t know what that means, but I blow out a breath, my temple throbbing. “Step back,” I say in a soft voice.
“Are you and Sawyer going to keep trying to kill each other? Because I’m not letting that happen. You both need to calm the hell down.”
I watch my pack brother, who looks more like he wants to end my life than I want to end his.
“I will,” I assure her. “As long as he doesn’t mention Dove again, we won’t have a problem.” When Halle doesn’t give me space, I remove myself, edging backwards.
My thoughts go to the kid tied to the chair. This shit is never going to end. There's always going to be something, but I can’t fight a war on two fronts. Taking on both the Order and my pack is a fight I can’t win.
I glance between the people I thought were my friends, my jaw working overtime as it tightens.
“This is the last time I’m going to defend myself about Dove. You don’t have to accept what I tell you about my feelings for her, but you sure as fuck don’t get to disrespect her. She has saved all of us at one point or another. She doesn’t deserve the vitriol you have for her.”
Halle’s face softens. “No one means to do that, Jackson.”
I want to believe that, but the anger raging through me doesn’t allow me to see anything clearly.
Apryle makes a grunting sound as she crosses her arms over her chest. It was only a matter of time before she fucking said something, but I wish she would just shut her mouth for a change.
“Do you have something to add?” I demand.
Her shoulders shift as she tosses her dark hair over her shoulder. “If you want to date Little Miss Crazy Daisy, who am I to argue? Besides, things have gotten a lot more interesting since she turned up.”
I am barely hanging on by a thread as it is, but Apryle clearly does not care. “She’s not crazy. And fuck you for saying she is. Dove is in there.”
“Sure she is.” Apryle’s sarcasm pisses me off. “But while you’re playing house with one of the Order’s minions, the rest of us are trying to figure out how to survive.”
I clench my fists at my sides. I’ve never raised a hand to a female in my entire life. At least… I don’t think I have. I have such a strong aversion to the idea of it that I doubt it’s something I would have done, but even I have to admit Apryle is pushing my limits.
“That’s enough,” Roux says, annoyed. “Jackson’s right. She’s not crazy. She’s broken, and we did that to her. How can you all turn your backs on her? Jackson isn’t crazy, either. Whether a bond exists between them or not doesn’t matter. The fact is that he feels something for her, and I don’t understand why everyone is trampling all over that.”
Cade releases Sawyer, who instantly reaches for his mate, but Roux pulls away, her mouth curling into a heated snarl. “Don’t. You know as much as I do the pain of denying a mate, and yet you expect your pack brother to do the same because it doesn’t fit with whatever rhetoric we’ve been told about mating bonds?”
Sawyer’s shoulders are tense as he lowers his hand. I can imagine the thoughts going through his head right now. His mate rejected him once, and her pulling away like this has to hurt.
“There is no rhetoric about mating bonds, Roux. They are either there or they’re not. There is no link between them.”
Roux drops her hands to her hips and tips her head back so she can peer up at her mate. I have to admit, I’m impressed by her show of support. I didn’t expect anyone to be on my side with this.
“For wolves maybe, but Dove is tau. Our genetics, our DNA, or whatever you want to call it, doesn’t work the same way as it does for pure wolves. Haven’t we proven over and over that we’re different?” Roux’s gaze snaps to mine. “If you say she’s your mate, and you truly believe that deep in your soul, then I believe you too, Jackson.”
Warmth spreads through me at this unlikely alliance. I have a moment of pity for Sawyer, who doesn’t seem to know what to do to appease his mate. She doesn’t seem like she’s going to allow him to either.
I shift my shoulders, my body wired, as I wipe the blood off my lip. “I don’t know how to explain it. I know there is no bond, but it feels as if there is. In the background, like a ghost, but there.” I sigh, trying to make my thoughts make sense. “My wolf recognizes her as ours.”
“Maybe you’re blocked the same way Cade and I were,” Halle offers.
They struggled to bring their bond to the forefront because Halle was bonded to another—luckily for her, that mating bond was done so badly by her former alpha that it didn’t connect into place, which allowed her and Cade to recognize each other.
“You don’t have to believe me, but every cell in my body knows she’s mine. As much as I wish I could just turn it off and ignore it, I can’t, and if that’s what you want me to do, then she and I have no place here.”
Halle’s face crumples, but I’m tired of fighting against the people who are supposed to support me. “Don’t say that,” she whispers the words, but I hear the hurt beneath them. “You are not allowed to leave. We love you, Jackson.”
My chest feels tight. There was a time when I would have given up everything for these people, and I don’t want to choose to walk away, but if they leave me no other option, I will. I can’t expect Dove to stay here among such bad blood.
“As interesting as this is,” Hester speaks, stepping away from the window, “we have slightly more pressing things to do than to discuss mating bonds.”
She’s right. The tau teenager is still unconscious, but it is time to wake him. I really want to get this over with quickly, so I can get back to Dove.
