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But I don’t want her to handle it. I want her to be comfortable. My wolf agrees, though he’s far more frustrated than I am. He wants me to claim Dove already, but it’s not that simple. From the moment I said I wanted to make her my chosen mate, she’s withdrawn from me, and I’m not sure why.
“We should ask Halle to heal you.” It’s the last thing I want, but seeing her suffer is more than I can stand.
Dove shakes her head, somehow managing to skate around the end of the breakfast bar, avoiding me completely, before she lowers herself onto the couch. The wince that ripples across her face makes my teeth clench. I hate that I hurt her, even if it was to save her life.
“I don’t want her to… touch me,” she says softly, lifting the mug to her lips and taking a sip. “Any of them.”
Of course she doesn’t. Why would she want magic to be used on her again? I wince. “Sorry, it was a stupid suggestion. Do you want me to get you some painkillers?” I feel so useless.
“It wasn’t and no, I’m okay. I don’t blame any of them for what they did, but I’m not keen to reopen myself to them that way. I don’t want to have to die again.” The light-hearted joke falls flat for me. There is nothing funny about what happened in that lake. “Too soon?” she asks when I don’t crack a smile.
I cross the room, swallowing the space between us, so I can be in hers. Maybe I shouldn’t; maybe I should give her room to breathe considering everything that happened, but I can’t. It might be selfish, but I need this. I need to touch her, to remind myself she’s still here.
I drop to my knees in front of her, my hands cupping her face.
Please don’t pull away.
I’m relieved when she doesn’t, leaning into my touch instead. “It’ll always be too soon,” I tell her honestly. “I wish you’d tell me what you’re thinking.”
“About what?”
“About everything. Us. What happened. The Order. You’ve been quiet since I mentioned the chosen mate bond.” I know I’m right the moment the words leave my mouth because she stiffens ever so slightly beneath my touch. “You don’t want it? You can tell me.”
My breath feels lodged in my throat as I ask it. I don’t want to hear the answer if it’s not positive, but I also need her to be with me willingly.
“Of course I want it,” she says, loosening the knot in my throat. “When I was lost, the only thing that kept me going was knowing you were by my side. Even when I couldn’t move or answer. You kept me safe.”
I swipe my thumb over the apple of her cheek. I can’t stop touching her when I’m close to her, and I’m grateful she doesn’t ask me to. “You kept me safe just as much.”
“There were moments I was able to fight the magic holding me back. Any time you were in danger, it was as if it allowed me to break the chains to help you.”
I want to ask her what it was like—whether she suffered while she was trapped inside her mind—but I can see in her eyes that it’s not the time to open that wound.
“I’m glad you’re back with me.”
She reaches out, her hand slipping into mine. “Me too, but I’m scared, Jackson.”
Her answer floors me. “Of me?”
I don’t think I can bear it if her fear stems from something I’ve done. Her fingers squeeze mine. “No, shit, no. Never you. I’m scared of what’s coming.”
I can’t offer her any assurances on that front, and it kills me. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
It’s a promise that I will keep. Nothing will ever touch Dove again.
“The boy in the woods… Who is he?”
“His name is Ayden.”
“Is he with the Order?”
I shift my shoulders. “I don’t think so. He says he came to ask the tau here to join them. Claims he’s part of a group that’s fighting for hybrids.”
“Is he telling the truth?”
I consider for a moment before I answer her. “I don’t trust anyone, but you. I want to believe him, but we won’t know anything for sure until we talk to him again today.”
Her head lowers, leaning against my shoulder, and I feel the warmth of her, wanting more, needing more.
