AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You don’t believe we were synthetically matched?”
He doesn’t answer for a long moment. “I don’t know. What I feel for you is so intense, I guess there could be something there, but I refuse to believe our feelings are fabricated.”
I refuse that too. It’s too real. “I’m so confused.” And scared, though I keep that part to myself.
“Me too.”
He brushes his lips over mine, the kiss uncertain in a way that breaks my heart. I don’t want him to have any doubts when it comes to us, but this is uncharted territory.
What motives could Ayden have for telling us these things if they are lies?
“My head feels like it’s going to explode,” I admit as my fingers hold his hips. “Please don’t ever leave me.”
I don’t like how desperate I sound, but I can’t stop it. I’m terrified of losing him. I was lost in my own mind, but Jackson was the only thing that kept me going. I need him just as much as he seems to need me.
His hands gently lift my head and our eyes meet. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He kisses me desperately, and I can’t help but match his ferocity. The thought of Jackson walking away from me is worse than any terror I can think of.
My fingers slide under his jacket, finding the smooth, warm skin beneath. I trace circles, needing to touch him at all times as his tongue slides against mine.
I can feel his body trembling against me, and I wonder if it is from fear or need. I wish I could sense his emotions, as is the case between mated pairs. Imprinting—if that’s really what’s going on here—clearly doesn’t work the same way.
“I’ll figure this out,” he promises. “I don’t know how, but I will get to the bottom of everything that has happened to us both.”
I let the trust shine through my eyes as I stare up at him. “We’ll figure this out. You’re not in this alone, Jackson. We do this together. I think whatever happened to us is buried somewhere deep inside our minds, and we have to draw those memories back out somehow.”
He blanches, his mouth pulling into a tight line. “No. I want to know the past as much as you, but the last time we messed with these things, you ended up locked inside your body. We’re not doing that again.” He cups my face with both hands, pressing our foreheads together. “Maybe it’s better to just leave the past where it is.”
I don’t want to relive it any more than he does. I don’t want to think about anything other than the man in front of me, offering to stand between me and my demons.
But burying our heads in the sand is not how we reclaim our lives. We can never be free while the Order is still out there. We have to fight to ensure our freedom. I know he isn’t going to want to hear this, because I don’t want to either, but the fact is that we are a part of this, whether we want to be or not.
I give him my warmest smile, knowing I am about to tear away the hope shining in his eyes.
“I want to focus on the future too, but to have that, we have to face our enemies.” I trail my fingers over his cheek, and he leans into my touch, grabbing my hand and pressing a kiss to my palm.
“We can go abroad, leave the States. We can run somewhere where they’ll never find us.”
I can’t stop my sad smile. “They’ll just keep following us. The Order is persistent. I don’t want to end up back in their facility. I hate it—I hate it so deeply that it makes my chest ache, but we have to fight.”
He sucks in air before letting it out on a long breath. I can see the warring thoughts working through him as he tries to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve us putting our necks on the line, but there isn’t one.
My eyes crawl over his face, memorizing every inch of him. “Even if we could leave, we can’t. Your brothers are here, and so are our friends.” His face hardens at my words, but he stays silent. “You need to let go of the bitterness you feel toward the others. The girls messed up, but they only wanted to help. They apologized, and it’s really hard to be angry with someone who tried their best for you.”
He shakes his head, his teeth clenching together, and I wish I could make him see how destructive this behavior is.
“They wrecked everything. And not just the girls. My brothers,” he uses air quotes for the last word, “thought I was insane because of how I feel about you. They told me you could never be mine, doubted the things I told them. I can’t move past that, as much as I want to. They hurt me in ways I can never get over.”
“They love you, Jackson. And let’s be honest—who can blame them? Nothing about us has been entirely straightforward.” I roll my toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek, feeling the sharp scratch of his stubble against my lips. When I pull back, his expression is unreadable. “We can’t fight this alone.”
“We’re not alone. We have each other.”
I’m grateful that he sees me the way he does, but he needs more than just me. Wolves are not meant to be solo creatures. There is a reason the pack structure exists. I don’t want to take that away from him.
“You need more than just me, Jackson. And I won’t be the one to take your family from you.”
“That’s not what you’re doing. Their actions created this divide between us. It had nothing to do with you.”
