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“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Really?” My voice drips with sarcasm. “You, Sawyer, hell—even Wyatt—you all think I’m slipping back into the madness, don’t you?”
I’d been feral once before, when Cade first found me in the woods. To this day, I still don’t know what triggered it or how I ended up out there, but it took weeks for me to come back to myself. Cade told me he’d been forced to lock me down so I didn’t go on a rampage. I’ve never felt that feral since, and I don’t feel it now, but clearly they think that’s what is happening to me.
“I never said that.”
“You don’t have to.” I hunch over slightly, trying to alleviate some of the pressure on my body. “I can see it written all over your face. You all think I want to protect her because I’m losing my mind again.”
I can tell from the guilty look that crosses Cade's face that this is what they have discussed behind my back. “Honestly, Jackson, I don’t know what to think.”
I laugh—a dry, vicious sound. It’s not me, but I can’t rein myself back in. When it comes to Dove, maybe I am a little feral. “So any time I disagree or go against what you or the others think, I must be crazy, right?”
His mouth pulls into a tight line, his patience clearly hanging by a thread. “That’s not what I’m saying?—”
“No,” I interrupt him. “That’s exactly what you’re saying. And fuck you for saying it.” I try to stand straight, wanting to be proud and strong in front of him, but my body won’t comply, and my vision is dancing. My next words sound choked. “This is nothing like when you first found me.”
“Jacks—”
He reaches for me and I tear away from him, groaning at the pain that throbs through me. Regret flickers in his eyes, and warmth too, as if he’s trying to tell me he’s not my enemy.
I try to remember that Cade was once closer to me than blood, and it tempers my response, allowing me to soften my words.
“I can promise you I’m as rational as I’ve ever been. I don’t know what it is about Dove, but I trust my gut. She’s mine. It might not make a lick of fucking sense, but it’s true all the same. I feel it in here, Cade.” I thump a bloody hand against my heart, hoping he understands what I’m saying. “I feel her.”
I don’t expect the disappointment reflecting in his eyes as he shakes his head. “No, you don’t. I don’t know what you are feeling, but I can tell you it’s not a mating bond. There’s nothing between you.”
It’s not a lie, but his words hurt anyway. Anger floods me at his denial of what I know in my soul. “Your mate was bound to another, hidden from you, and yet you were still drawn to Halle. There was no mating bond there either at first.”
He can’t argue that, but he still tries. “This isn’t the same.”
“No, it’s not, because no one doubted you when you thought Halle was yours.”
“I’m not doubting you, but with Halle, I could sense the bond, even if we were both in denial. We were drawn together by a force I can’t even fathom.”
And I can’t sense that same bond with Dove.
He doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t need to. I hear the accusation anyway. I don’t know how to describe what I have with Dove. There may be no bond between us, but my wolf still recognizes her as ours.
“I don’t care what some stupid bond says. I won’t give her up.”
Cade’s tenuous hold on his patience fractures. “That bond is all that matters. I’ll agree your wolf has an obsession with her, Jackson, but it’s not a bond. She’s nothing to you.” He grabs my chin between his fingers, forcing me to focus on him. My wolf wants me to bare my teeth, pissed at being threatened, but I keep my rage under control. As strong as I am, Cade is an alpha. I can’t beat him, and sure as fuck not when I can barely stand.
“What happens when your true mate comes to you?” Those words are a blow to my gut. I ignore the nausea swirling through me. It’s a legitimate concern, but I shove it down ruthlessly. “Your wolf won’t care about Dove then. He’ll only be consumed by your fated mate. This… It’s setting you both up for a world of hurt. I know you care about her, Jackson; no one is denying that, but you have to let it go, for her sake as much as your own.”
I don’t want to hear this. The thought of her with another male makes me see red. I will rip the limbs off any man who tries to take her from me.
I let out a roar of frustration as I shove him back with one hand. Even in my weakened state, he goes back one foot.
“Shut up! Just shut up! I don’t care about my fated fucking mate, and if someone tries to take her from me, I’ll fucking end them, do you hear me? I will gut them.”
The tension swells between us, and my labored pants seem to echo around the trees. Fuck him for even suggesting it.
“You can’t control it, Jackson. When you meet your fated mate, no force on earth will be able to keep you apart. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
My jaw twitches, and my teeth hurt from grinding them together. “There are millions of wolves walking around. The chance of finding a fated mate is so slim?—”
“I know, but it does happen. Look at us. Abel, me, and Sawyer—we all found our fated mates. She may love you, and you may love her, but when it comes down to it, neither one of you will give up a fated bond for each other.”
