AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Travis’s shoulders pull tight, his gaze returning to me. “Mais—”
“No. You know what? Tonight is not the night to do this. It’s fucking late. I’m glad you’re back safe, man. Let’s both just try to get some sleep, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he croaks, his gaze straying to where a bottle of Scotch sits in the center of the breakfast bar. “Yeah, I’ll try.”
I give him a tight nod and head in the opposite direction, wondering if I should go to my office instead of my room. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep anytime soon now, but I’ve been trying to avoid angry workout sessions ever since Nolan took my hand a few nights ago, hovered a thumb over one of my freshly cut knuckles, and whispered, “I hate when you hurt.”
I hear a familiar voice just before I reach the stairs—one that somehow has the power to make me feel fucking shattered and joyous at the same time. Carter. Less than five minutes of being in the safehouse and Travis already has my brother back.
I turn left instead of right—heading for the gym.
Things get worse instead of better. Dr. Singh tells me I’m due for another session with him and warns me not to avoid it. Nolan sees my knuckles at breakfast, something like hurt and worry twisting his features before his gaze flits away. Carter spends all day hiding, setting his recovery back nearly a week. I spend my day with Travis, Jake, and Ace, poring over case details and coming up with a strategy for Mica that hopefully won’t backfire this time around. Ace gives us updates on his search for Elliot, the little boy who was in the holding cell with Carter and Casey before they were sold at their separate auctions. Not that there’s much of an update. He seems to be slamming into walls left and right. It doesn’t help that Travis is distracted too, eyes constantly searching the camera feeds in the office, clearly looking for Carter. I want to punch him in the face for wanting to see my brother so badly. I also want to shove him out the door and beg him to go find my brother and make him feel better.
By the time dinner is ready, I’m ready to vibrate out of my fucking skin.
Carter shows up, which is something at least, but his presence just ends up being a neon-lit display of how badly Travis’s return has fucked with his head. Instead of being talkative with the survivors, laughing and teasing and smiling, he’s withdrawn and skittish. It’s not just Carter who is thrown off, either. All the survivors are. Nolan especially. When I thank him for passing me the salt, he mumbles, “Of course, s—” before clamping his lips shut and squeezing his eyes closed.
It could have been any number of things he meant to say, but I’m pretty sure it was meant to be sir. Better than master, I suppose, but not by much. I know the world he came from. Everyone in the Roarke compound was referred to as master. Everyone else—friends and colleagues and random party guests—were sir or ma’am.
I don’t ever want to be sir to him. The thought alone makes me sick.
Taking a chance, I slip my hand beneath the table and rest it on Nolan’s knee. He tenses for a moment as he takes the time to open his eyes and figure out what’s going on. When he realizes it’s just me, he relaxes and gives me a thankful smile.
Travis may be the one struggling the most. He barely touches his food or beer. He barely even seems to breathe. He just sits there, staring at Carter, only ever letting his gaze scan the rest of the table’s occupants whenever Carter gets the courage to look in his direction. When Carter laughs at one point, Travis looks like his entire world narrows down to him. He seems utterly enthralled by my brother. He really fucking loves him, doesn’t he?
God, that pisses me off.
And brings me so much goddamn relief.
Well, if he loves Carter so much, he should really let him move on then. Let him heal. He should stop sneaking into his room every night and dragging him back into the sticky fucking mess they’ve created together. Carter will never be free until he figures out how to live without Travis. Once that happens, they can be together again. I’ll be plenty happy for them, even. But it can’t happen like this.
The last thing I want is another fight. I just want to help Carter. I want to help Travis, too. I genuinely think they could both benefit from being apart for a while. Maybe it’s not my place, but no one else is taking that position, and someone needs to fucking say it.
But how do I say it without ruining everything?
Jake interrupts my thoughts by kicking Travis under the table and teasing, “Hey, idiot. Show’s over.”
Travis finally looks away from Carter’s empty chair in favor of glaring at Jake. “Asshole.”
“I’d rather be an asshole than a creep,” I tease, hoping to ease my way into the conversation I’d like to have with him. Maybe if we tease each other now, I can pull him aside after and he won’t be so defensive?
It backfires, Travis going on the defensive immediately. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Woah.” I force a laugh, trying desperately to get us back on track. “Never said I had a problem.”
“I saved your brother’s life,” Travis growls.
“Trav—” Jake says in warning, reaching for Travis. He shrugs Jake off and pushes back from the table to stand.
Ah, fuck.
Look at you go, Maison, fucking everything up yet again.
Travis’s hand shakes as he points an angry finger at me. “I saved Carter. I became a fucking monster for you even though I fucking begged you not to make me. And yeah, okay Maison, I fucking fell in love with him. You think I meant to? You think that was fucking fun for me? You think I enjoy the fact that after spending over a week living in a shit-pit with a motherfucker who has terrible taste in chewing gum and likes talking about feelings that the first thing I wanted to do when coming home was track that boy down and hold him? You think it’s funny that I couldn’t eat or enjoy a nice cold beer because for the first time ever I heard the man I love laugh freely and loudly and smile so fucking wide I didn’t recognize him? You think that’s fun? Or creepy?”
I eye the others at the table, trying to figure out how to extract myself from this shit show without triggering any of them. Are they already triggered? Casey looks alright, though a little nervous. Bryce looks like he might stand up and fight too—though I think it’d be Travis he’d fight, so I have that going for me. Nolan… fuck, my poor Nolan looks like he wants to run away. Or maybe just slip under the table and hide, since his tense muscles seem to indicate that he’s frozen in place.
I could do this all night with Travis, but not with Nolan upset like he is. I made myself a promise the first time we spoke in the kitchen—I’m going to care about him. He gets to be put first.
