AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Trav, man, I’m sorry—”
“No.” Travis waves me off before looking around the table and saying, “I’m sorry, everyone.”
Jake tries calling after Travis, but he ignores him. Jake sighs heavily before turning his focus to me. I only recently found out he has a daddy kink—him being the daddy, not him wanting a daddy—but the look he gives me is one hundred percent angry daddy. It’d be amusing if I didn’t feel so close to crying at the moment.
“It’s not his fault that Carter won’t forgive you, Maison,” Jake chides. “You have to fucking stop.”
I clench my jaw, everything from today—from the past weeks, past months, past fucking years—seeming to bubble up inside of me all at once. “It’s not that. He’s done enough damage. He needs to leave Carter the fuck alone so Carter can have a fighting chance to fucking heal.”
“That’s Carter’s decision to make,” Casey says out of nowhere. I look over at him in surprise to find him glaring at me. Well, okay then. “If Carter wants to keep fucking Travis, he should get to. The only two people who get to decide he can’t are him and Travis. You’re done pulling strings. You’re not in charge anymore.”
I huff, looking away as a fresh wave of anger comes over me. So, what, I only get to be in charge when I’m doing harm? Now that I have a chance to help, I’m stuck on the back burner? How is that fucking fair? What does that make me, if I allow that? What kind of man ruins everything and then sits back instead of helping to patch it all back together?
“I just think… he deserves to…” Casey tries to add, his voice weak now. He doesn’t manage to finish, just shaking his head and hurrying off instead.
I close my eyes, the ache in my chest crawling up to squeeze my throat. I rest my elbow on the table and press my forehead to my palm. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
“What I think Casey was going to say is that Carter deserves to make his own decisions right now,” Jake says. I can hear him shifting. Probably getting ready to chase after the young man he’s in the middle of falling in love with. “Your job is to support him.”
I clench my teeth to keep from saying something I’ll regret. They don’t understand. None of them fucking understand.
There’s the sound of more chairs moving and footsteps as the others leave the table, the room falling silent once it’s just me.
Scratch that—me and Nolan, I realize.
“Nol,” I say quietly, not bothering to remove my head from my hand or open my eyes. “Please go.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone after that.”
“I want to be alone after that,” I counter. I consider giving him a smile, trying to encourage him to leave, but I don’t have it in me. “Please.”
He doesn’t move or speak for a long moment. I wait, wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and hold him against me. To bask in that warmth inside my chest that I always develop when he’s safe in my arms. But I don’t ask. I don’t deserve it.
I force myself to lower my hand when I hear him finally move, watching as he walks away from me.
It’s for the best, I tell myself, the thought like barbed wire around my heart. You ruin everything you touch.
Chapter Ten
Nolan
I’m not sure if I’ll see Maison tonight, not after the fight at dinner, but I still drag myself down to the living room to wait for him just in case. I opt out of making a fire in case he doesn’t show, just settling on the couch with a blanket instead. I’m almost asleep when a gentle hand comes down on my shoulder, giving me a slight shake. “Hey, you.”
I jolt before the voice can manage to sink in, then relax as it registers that it belongs to Maison. I wipe at my tired eyes and take him in. He’s dressed in the same clothes as before, his sweatshirt wrinkled and damp with sweat. I’m not surprised to find his knuckles battered when he pulls his hand back from my shoulder. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“I didn’t.” He winces. “Ace tracked down Mica. For real this time, hopefully.”
“Oh.” I try to shove down the disappointment that he didn’t actually come to see me. It helps that he’s frowning. It’s a confusing reaction, giving me a distraction. “That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Sure. Except Carter is going to hate me even more now.”
“It’s not your fault Travis is so insistent that he be the one to go on these missions,” I argue.
Maison’s smirk is angry and dark. “Yeah, well, he won’t care. I’m going to tell Travis he can wait to leave until morning so he can say goodbye this time, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go.”
I sigh in relief, not having been looking forward to telling him where Travis is right now, since I saw him sneak past before I dozed off. Waiting until morning sounds like an excellent idea.
“Do you want to sit, then? It’s not too late. We could talk. Or just be quiet together.”
