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A lump grew in my throat as he spoke. Everything suddenly became crystal clear.
‘I love you so fucking much,’ I whispered, standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his. He poured all of his love, finally requited, into his kiss. My fingertips pushed up over his shoulders and into his hair as I finally let go of it all. The hurt, the anger, the crushing weight I’d held onto like a gummy-fisted child who had the last lollipop. The scent of his heady aftershave and salty skin made me moan against his lips.
I was aware of movement and turned my head, catching Alfie slinking away.
‘Stay,’ I said.
He raised an eyebrow at me.
‘If you want to. I’d like you to.’ The vulnerability of my words made me feel queasy. I’d never put myself in a place to be rejected. I’d never hoped to be worthy of anyone choosing me.
Alfie looked at Petros, who still had his hands wrapped around my waist.
‘Help us make new memories,’ Petros said. ‘We all need it.’
Alfie joined us, leaning in to capture my mouth with his devilish tongue, making me sigh with pleasure. He pulled Petros in, switching to his lips as I watched them together. It didn’t feel dirty or wrong. It felt just exactly right. Like all of our trauma sent us on a path that was supposed to converge right there, right then.
Moving behind me, I took Petros mouth as Alfie nipped his way along my neck. Despite having slaughtered so many monsters, I’d never felt so powerful as I was sandwiched between them. I’d thought I’d never be worth one man’s adoration, far less two. Even if Alfie’s adoration may have been sexual alone.
Losing myself in their mouths, I felt my top being pulled up over my head. Then Alfie moved back. Breaking my kiss, I looked over my shoulder to see him regarding my knotted, scarred back. More a mountain range of torment than the smooth elegant backs he was likely used to. My cheeks flamed, and I wanted to snatch back up my top.
‘You’re fucking magnificent,’ Alfie said, moving forward and dragging his tongue the length of my spine. My brain about fucking melted right out of my pussy.
Petros reached around and undid my bra, slipping it over my arms before pulling me up against his chest. ‘I’ve wanted to hold you for so long. I’ve dreamt about this moment for as long as I can remember.’
When Petros dipped his head to kiss my neck, before sliding his mouth down my chest and teasing at my nipples, Alfie pressed his mouth against me, his hot breath on my neck.
‘Tell us what you want,’ he whispered.
The dark little demon bubbled up in my chest, attracted to the promise in his voice. I thrust it back down. ‘I can’t.
‘Do you need it rough?’ The way Alfie said it made my knees quake.
I nodded, barely able to admit it to myself, far less to them.
‘It’s okay to enjoy the darker things in life. It’s okay to want both ends of the spectrum. It doesn’t make the things that happened to you any less terrible. It doesn’t make you fucked-up. Many, many people heal through controlling those experiences and controlling how those actions affect them. You are worthy of love, Harriet. And you are worthy of pleasure. In all its forms.’
I let out a moan. Petros sank to his knees, pulling down the remainder of my clothing and discarding it. His beautiful face looked up at me.
‘He can be your light where I am your dark. And I can be his light where you are my dark. Sometimes, one person can be your everything, but other times we fulfil different roles. The three of us need this dichotomy. I will worship Petros with all the fervour with which he worships you. And I will make you squirm in the same ways he makes me squirm. And when you’re in the mood, you can turn the tables and unleash it right back on me. Love isn’t an infinite resource, and neither is pleasure. I’ve spent my life withholding one while giving the other in abandon.’
Alfie’s fist tightened in my hair as he wrapped his other arm tightly around my waist. ‘Now you’re going to be a good girl and let Petros show you how much he adores you.’
The tight hold on me made me want to fight. And made me wet. My brain struggled with the two until the moment Petros’ tongue slid over my clit. Pleasure unfurled inside of me, and I found myself leaning into Alfie’s grasp.
‘That’s it, little monster, spread your thighs so Petros can lap at your pretty cunt.’
I whimpered and did as he said, glancing up at the ornate, red-rosed window above.
‘Look at you, spread between the two of us like a needy slut. This is what you’ve craved, isn’t it? Listening to us fuck through the wall while you moaned into your fucking pillow. You thought I didn’t know?’
Humiliation filled my cheeks, and I found myself grinding harder on Petros’ face.
‘I’m going to give your body what it fucking needs, while he gives your soul what it needs.’
‘Please,’ I whispered, my breath ragged at the divine sensations Petros wrought between my thighs.
‘Your safe word is rose. Use it if anything I say or do crosses the line from hot to hurt. Understood?’ Alfie said.
