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“He might as well be. What does being in an open prison mean?” Drew got out his phone and scrolled through it. “According to this, the cell might not even be locked. What the fuck, Liam?”
I’d refrained from searching it on the internet, wanting to stay in denial for a while longer.
That hadn’t worked so well, and I’d need to ask John later what the risks were. Was I overthinking the whole thing?
“It’s worrying, I’ll admit.”
“You’re not going to…?”
“Spiral? Go back to the drugs?” It had crossed my mind over the past few days. Once an addict, always an addict. That was what they said. But I was stronger now.
But are you?
That annoying voice in the back of my mind could fuck right off.
“Not if I can help it. I won’t let you down again, Drew.”
“You wouldn’t be. I know how hard it is for you.”
Taking his hand in mine, I looked deep into his eyes. “I won’t be going back to the drugs. I promise.”
He smiled tightly. He knew it would always be a balancing act for me. I could fall at any time. It had only been six months since my last episode.
The mood had dropped considerably, and that was down to me. Perhaps my next piece of news would cheer him up.
“John is picking me up after work, and we’re going to dinner.”
“Oh. Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Neither was I. He brought me in to work and asked on the drive over. I honestly didn’t know what to say. It’s been an age since I’ve gone out with anyone like him.”
“Is he Daddy material?”
“I’m not sure I want that any longer. It would remind me too much of Stuart, and I’m five years older now. My needs have changed. I still want someone to look after me, just not in the way he did. Does that make sense?”
Drew shrugged. We’d never discussed my previous lifestyle in depth, and I wasn’t sure he’d completely understand. Few did.
A customer entered, and despite our conversation about that bastard, my nerves had settled.
The rest of the day passed at a snail’s pace with hardly any customers. Drew and I chatted while tidying the shop, and soon, it was six, and we could close up.
I peered out the window. No sign of John yet, but maybe he couldn’t get away. His wasn’t a nine-to-five job, unlike mine, but the minutes ticked by, and he still hadn’t arrived.
Where the hell was he? I’d said six; I was sure of it.
The last customer of the day had left. We’d cashed up and swept the floors. There was nothing more to do, no more reason to hang around.
“Call him,” Drew said as he brought the shutters down.
“He’s probably changed his mind. It’s fine. I’ll just go home. We can order in, have an early pizza night.”
“Five days early, Liam, and anyway, I’m off out with Cindy. Are you going to wait?”
I peered up and down the road. Still no sign of John. “I guess I’ll wait a while longer. I might go wait in the coffee shop.”
Drew hugged me and set off at a steady jog, Perry trailing him. Wrapping my scarf a little tighter, I stamped my feet. Gone was the rain, replaced by cold, frosty weather. It wouldn’t surprise me if it snowed.
I checked the time again. I’d give him another ten minutes. Then I’d leave, chalking this one up as a lesson learnt. Most shops were closing, but the convenience store at the end was still open. I was almost out of cigarettes. As part of my attempt to get better, I’d cut back, but right now, I needed one, possibly even more than one.
