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I brought my hand down, wincing as he flinched. Was that too hard?
“One, Daddy.” His cheek coloured slightly, but he made no noise.
I did it again. A little harder this time, the slap resounding in the quiet of the room.
“Two, Daddy.”
Number three was sharper still, and I cringed as his arse reddened.
“Three, Daddy.” His voice was strong, and his dick hardened against my leg.
Slap four and five were harder, but he called out each one, his voice never wavering, his dick firm against my leg.
I rubbed his arse cheeks, guilt for the hurt I was causing him and for the obvious redness flooding me.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You can carry on.” He pressed himself against me, but I pulled my hand away.
I couldn’t. It was hurting him too much.
I had to be honest. I could talk a good talk, but when it came down to dishing out a punishment, I wasn’t cut out for it.
Sensing my hesitation, Liam slid off my lap onto his knees, his hard cock bobbing in front of him, a small drop of pre-cum oozing from the head.
Hurting him was wrong, even if he was aroused. “I can’t do it, Liam. Get dressed.”
“John, please.”
I walked back to the kitchen and stood by the sink, gazing at my reflection in the window.
What the fuck was I doing?
“You didn’t do anything wrong, John.”
“I hurt you. That’s not right,” I whispered.
He stood behind me and placed his arms around my waist. How could he be so nice to me after what I’d done?
“I don’t mind. I needed to be punished.” He sighed deeply. “It’s difficult for people to understand, especially when you’re not involved in that world. If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s not necessary, nor are you a bad person for doing it. I won’t force you, though.”
There was no way I could be the person he needed. That had become clear.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together, Liam. I’m not sure I can be what you want. I’m not a Daddy. I’m a man who wants… I don’t know what the fuck I want. Hurting you, though, hurts me too.”
He squeezed me tighter. “Don’t say it’s over, please.”
Was I saying that? Liam was looking for something I wasn’t.
I turned in his arms and tilted his head. His eyes were brimming with tears.
“You’re crying. I won’t be the one to make that happen.”
“I’m crying because you’re pushing me away. Not because of the pain.”
He took my hand and placed it on his still-hard dick.
“This is what being spanked does to me. Had you finished the ten we’d agreed on, there was every chance I’d have come without you even having to touch me. I enjoy it. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to. Do I think you can get over your fear of hurting me? I don’t know, but I hope you can.”
He released my hand, and I linked them behind his back at his waist.
