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"Thank you, Styosha." She rubbed her face into my chest while curling up tightly into me. "Can I watch? I want to see their bodies drop with my own eyes."
"Of course, you can do whatever you want, and you can participate to any degree you want." Though I made it my personal mission to put down each and every single person on that list, Hanna still called the shots. If, for some insane reason, she asked me to abandon this little manhunt of mine, then I would—begrudgingly.
"You're really going to do this? For me? You'll put down everyone who ever touched me?" She sounded so hopeful but, at the same time, empty with disbelief.
"Hanna," I said, grasping her chin to make her look up at me. "I will do anything for you. Anything. You are my priority. I will do anything to make you happy, to defend you, protect you, avenge you, anything and everything. You are my life now Hanna."
Leaning down, I capture her lips in a deep, heart-aching kiss.
"I love you, Hanna. I love you so much."
Chapter 39
Hanna
I love you, Hanna. I love you so much.
"I'm scared." I squeezed through my trembling lips.
I was fucking terrified. Commitment was never my thing, only flings and fuck buddies. The most emotionally involved I ever got with anyone were Angel and my friends, but that was a friendly love.
This though, this relationship with Stepan. He made it clear from the get-go that he was serious about this, about us. He never had to say anything; I already knew, from how he looked at me with such deep devotion, held me as if I were to slip away any second, and cherished me like I'm his world. It's always been this unspoken thing between us until now, and I thought when the time came for those three little words to be uttered into existence, I'd take it better or feel a little indifferent since I already knew his true feelings towards me. Yet, hearing him say it just now felt like a bucket of ice water to the face.
"I know, and I'm sorry for springing it on you suddenly like this, I wanted something more mellow before I would say it, but I just had to let you know. It pains me so much every day to hold back those words. I know they aren't enough to convey the depth of my feelings for you, nothing ever could, but I just had to let you know. I love you, and I'm here for you, always. You don't have to say it back, I don't expect you to, and I know this is new territory for you, so take all the time you need to process it all, I'll be here." He was too damn sweet and good to be true, but he's as real as ever right now in my hands.
As much as I wanted to repeat the exact words to him, I couldn't muster it up. Judging by his face, he understood and wasn't upset. So, settling for the next best, I hugged him tightly and buried my face into his neck.
Sighing somberly, I shoved the subject aside to speak the thought in my mind. "I wish Nana could be here to relish in their deaths too."
"Mhm." The warmth from him chilled over in a second.
Leaning away from him, I narrowed my eyes accusingly at him. "You don't believe him, do you? You know I'd never lie to you, especially about something like that." Now, the warm fuzzy feeling in me flared dangerously into anger.
"Let's not talk about that right now. What do you want for dinner?" He deflected with a question.
"No, we are going to talk about this right now because how can you believe him over me? What gain would I have to lie to you about any of it? Why the hell would I lie about my friend?" There goes our sweet little moment over this stupid shit again.
Scoffing sharply, I shoved him away and got up to my feet. "You know what, thank you for taking care of Mr. Hwei, but I'm going out. I need some space."
Stepan's objections fell on deaf ears as I went off to our room to change out of his shirt, throwing on some tactical gear and slipping on the brass knuckles that Stepan recently gifted me. It wasn't a shiny new gun, but I much preferred these over one.
"Move." The hostility in my snarl made him wince and freeze in his spot.
"Hanna ple—"
"No! I don't want to hear any of it. Now, move." I seethed inches from his face with my hands clenched at my side to prevent them from shoving at Stepan.
Reluctantly, he sidestepped to let me trudge through a few steps before stopping me with a grab of my arm. "I'm coming with you. I'm not letting you go out there alone like this. I won't get in your way, but I can't stay home knowing you're out there doing something dangerous."
One look at his pleading eyes, and I knew I couldn't say no. "Five minutes, if you're not ready by then, then I'm going solo," I grumbled and relented with crossed arms.
Five minutes later, both of us were on the road. The car filled with suffocating tension—mainly from my side—within seconds of the doors closing. I had nothing to say to him unless I wanted to get into a shouting match with him.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see him shift around uncomfortably in his seat. "This girl… Tell me more about her… You've barely mentioned her, and I only got a name today. I'm in the dark here Hanna, so give me something, anything, please." His voice was heavy as he begged me.
White knuckling the steering wheel, I took a moment to breathe deeply and gather my thoughts. "Nana was the only friend I ever made in the place. She arrived at the same time as me, we were forced to share a room together, not that we minded because we kept each other company perfectly. Honestly, she was the perfect friend, discount the shitty place we were in of course."
Thinking back, Nana was perfect. A little too perfect? Maybe, but we were stuck together and made it work. "She was a spitfire like me, both of us with ambitious dreams of being adventurers, archeologists, anything that will let us go out there and get sweaty and dirty. We loved the same foods as well, same allergies too, same hobbies, just everything. Honestly, it's as if we were the same person sometimes, or long-lost twins."
