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Though speaking about Lilian, I couldn't help but feel a tad guilty because Stepan shouldered the responsibility for shutting Lilian Wu down after I told Angel I couldn't take the assignment. As much as I wanted to accept, I couldn't, knowing I couldn't give it my full attention and effort.
I harbored too much hatred for my estranged aunt; I knew for a fact if I got involved, then my emotions will get the best of me. I'd be too much of a liability than help. At least no one gave me any grief for it, so I was thankful for that.
Easing off with a soft pop, I look up at him fully while evenly stroking his entire length. "Have you located her safe houses and backup storage units?"
As much as I hated the knowledge, I knew how my aunt operated. Even if it has been years since I last had contact with her, she was a creature of habit. I also knew she was a lousy gambler because she put everything into one pot once she got too comfortable with no form of contingency. Her safe piles and backups were everything to her last I remembered, and I was more than willing to bet my damn life on them.
"Wasn't even aware she had any, so no." Stepan looked at me with torn eyes before shaking his head as if he had dismissed his own thoughts.
"What is it?" I probably shouldn't pry, but I couldn't help but want to pick at his brain because of my curiosity.
Stepan muttered a quick "Nothing" in response with a shake of his head, making me pout angrily and grip at his family jewels—not too hard, just enough to give him a jolt.
"Tell, or I'll give you blue balls." I threatened with a serious glare.
Sighing heavily, Stepan stroked my hair momentarily while looking at me in thought. "I know you already said you wanted nothing to do with Lilian, given your past with her, but you'd be so much help because you're the only one who knows her and how she works. I don't want to ask you to assist because you already made your displeasure known. And there are some things I will force my hand with, but this won't be one of those."
But they were stuck in the mud if I didn't help. They were fighting a losing battle without the proper knowledge and information. Usually, I would be okay with it because eventually, our friend Bao would be able to dig a lead-up, but not with Lilian. Bao could access anything as long as it had an electronic trail. Unfortunately, Lilian was very old school—pen and paper and no cash at the bank old-school. She was very distrustful of everything and everyone but herself, which is why she's been able to remain so elusive.
"What if I screw up? She's the start of everything bad to me. I know she's in the past, and I shouldn't let her affect me this much, but I still haven't gotten over my loathing." It was stupid because I wasn't one to hold grudges. Well, more like I dealt with the problem before I could have a grudge. "I don't want to make some kind of rash decision in the moment."
"I won't let you, tigress. I'll be your voice of reason in those moments." Stepan assured me with a smile. "I'll drive, and you can be in the backseat. You don't have to become directly involved per se, could just work in the background. If you never have to see her or interact with her then would that entice you any?"
"Can I think about it?" I wasn't in the mood to weigh the pros and cons at the moment with Stepan's dick in my hands.
Rolling his eyes, he shoved my face closer to himself. "Of course, I don't expect an answer right away, so get busy sucking like a good girl while I finish up." To make his point, he shoved his tip against my lips, smearing his precum on me.
Well, not sure how much work he got done because after a few bobs of my head, he gave out a growl and took my face into his hands, stood up, and face fucked me until I gagged and choked on him with my hot tears streaming down my face. "Fuck your mouth feels so good, little tigress." He groaned with a chest-rumbling growl.
Slowly, his hands shifted, so one fisted the back of my hair while the other held my throat. "Such a good girl for Daddy, letting him use your filthy mouth to pleasure himself. Fuck I can feel myself going down your throat. You have any idea how much I love it when you choke on his cock baby?"
My grip on his hips tightened to where my nails dug into him, pulling another groan from him. I loved it when he used me for his pleasure; the nights when he'd come home and throw me around like a doll and fuck me until he was satisfied were the best. Then, when he'd drag me around using his collar around my neck, God, being led around the house was enough to get me to orgasm if I was aroused enough.
I trusted Stepan, though; even if he fucked me until I cried and begged for him to let up, spanked me until I couldn't walk, tied me up in the most uncomfortable positions, I knew he'd never harm me. He had my life in his hands every time we entered our space, and I trusted him wholeheartedly. No matter how many bruises and marks—and he always left a lot of marks—he graced my body with, he always tended to me carefully after all. From feeding me, washing me, and applying various balms and medicine to ensure I healed correctly, he cared for me well and showered me with all his love.
"Blyat'!" Stepan hissed and groaned with his release, burying himself fully deep down my throat so my face pressed flat against his pelvis.
Groaning with a happy smile, I eagerly swallowed to milk his cock as it throbbed, making him gasp and shudder. With a firm yank, he pulled me off of him completely and forced me to look up at him. "Open your mouth."
Shuddering through my panting, I opened my mouth wide and stuck my tongue out for him to see nothing went to waste. "Good girl." His praise brought a happy shiver to my body, along with a smile to my face.
"I love you so much, malenkaya." He whispered with a soft, happy, goofy smile.
"Mhmm."
Yet, no matter how much I trusted him, I still couldn't bring myself to say the words back to him.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood rigid at the sound of the familiar voice. "I have to say, I'm disappointed I didn't hear the news about your engagement, Hanna."
The corners of my lips followed the pull of gravity until they ached. Acting on an instinct to preserve myself, I pulled my gun out as I whipped around, pointing it directly at the vile woman a few feet from me inside Stepan's office.
"That's because it's none of your fucking business. Just like how you have no fucking business here at Stepan's office, so I suggest you leave before I put you in a body bag." This was exactly why I couldn't be on any assignment related to Lilian, unless it was an assassination assignment.
I was too unpredictable around her. Even if I liked to think otherwise, I knew the moment her presence would be made known to me then everything went overboard. No matter how much control I had over myself, nothing was fair game when it came to her.
Sometimes, the mere thought of her made me want to go into a murderous rage, while other times, it made me want to retreat and blow up in silence. One thing's for sure: she'd end up dead with me around, whether I want it or not.
Forgive and forget.
