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My heart stammers.
My breathing stutters.
And there’s a crack. I hear it, almost like it’s real. I feel it.
A broken fissure in my soul.
“What are you talking about, Grayson?” I breathe shakily. “What’s wrong? Talk to me… we’ll figure out whatever is together.”
I cling to the torn scraps of my heart…of my hope that Grayson will never hurt me. Will never break me. I trust him. I always have…
I trust him.
He won’t break us.
Grayson makes a pained sound in the back of throat. “We belong on two separate paths, Riley. I’ve thought about it, but this is not working out for me anymore.”
My throat closes and I lose the last breath I’ve been holding. Lurching off the bed, I start pacing my room. “Listen, I’ll come to you. I’ll book a flight right now. Are you listening to me? We can talk about it, Grayson. If this long distance relationship is not working anymore, I’ll drop out of Harvard and come back to home. To you. We will make it work. We can make this work. We just saw each other two days ago! Why are you saying all of this now!?”
I’m rambling at this point and barely making any sense even to myself, but I can’t stop.
I can’t fucking stop because I feel my heart being ripped out of my chest and I’m desperately trying to hold on to the sweet, treacherous hope that Grayson’s love had filled me with. But everything is jaded now and I don’t know how to handle that.
“Riley—”
“No.” I shake my head, tears burning the back of my eyes. “Don’t do this, Grayson. Don’t do this to us. Please.”
“It was fun while it lasted,” he says and his words are too cruel and Grayson is not a heartless man.
My eyes close, a heart wrenching sob spilling from my lips. “You promised…”
He lets out a cold, humorless chuckle and it decimates me. “I guess I am a liar.”
“You promised me!” I cry out.
“I’m protecting you, damn it!” he bellows back to me.
My body crumbles and I collapse on the floor. “What?” I choke breathlessly.
Grayson spews out a harsh swear. “I will only hurt you more in the future, Riley. You have a soft, gullible heart. You believed what you wanted to see, but I’m not that man. You romanticize me, you created this perfect illusion in your head that I am the perfect man for you. But I am not him. It’s not my fault that you fell for someone who was not real. It was your own damn delusion and you recklessly got your heart involved.”
The last of my hope disintegrates into ashes.
Time slows.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The beat of my heart resonates between my ears.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
“W-what?” The world sways as numbness takes over my body. “You said you love me.”
“I did… but love is not always enough. Only fools believe that love fixes everything.”
He did…
Not he does.
