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Chapter 21
Ginny
Instead of telling them this was it, I keep my mouth shut. We had sex several more times, though not the way we had just done, until we all crashed and fell asleep. Well, they fell asleep. I continue to lie here, hating myself for keeping my mouth shut and letting them think I was okay with there being a future for us.
No, instead of letting them get closure, I was taking the coward’s way out. I wait until the early hours of the morning, when all three of them are deep in sleep, and quietly slink out of the room, taking the few minutes needed to stop by Carter’s room, dress and collect my phone and purse. I need to get out of here before I change my mind.
Taking one last look around the room, I remember the good times I’ve had with the guys from the first time here, with the misunderstanding between who the twins were and the gifts we exchanged last night. I never told them, but I'm in love with each of them. A love that won’t fade overnight or even in a few months.
I place the gifts they gave me in the bag I carried their presents in, then pick up a piece of the discarded wrapping paper and pull a pen from my purse. I write them a note telling them goodbye, and that as much as I care for them, this was merely a holiday fling. Nothing more. It could never be. I leave it on the coffee table underneath the remote and hope they find it.
I quickly order a Lyft. Hoping like hell it comes quickly and I don’t have to stand in the cold long. I know if I stay in the house, I risk one of them waking up and stopping me from doing what I need to do.
“Goodbye, Chase. Goodbye, Carter. Goodbye, Blake. I’ll never forget you,” I say softly as I step out onto the porch, shutting the door behind me and make my way down the path to the road. I move off to the side, behind a tree, as I wait. I don’t want them to be able to look out and see me.
Thankfully, the app tells me Sawyer, my driver, is close by—guess lady luck doesn’t want me to get caught either.
As the brown suburban pulls up to the curb, I step out of the shadows and open the door.
“Good morning,” he says as I shut the door.
“Good morning.” There’s not as much joy in my words as there is in his.
“Good Christmas?” he asks, trying to make small talk.
“Yeah.” He goes to say something else, but I’m not in the mood. “Can we just take the ride in silence, please?”
“Of course.” He grips his steering wheel but doesn’t try to talk to me again. A lone tear falls, sliding down my cheek until it drops on my hand in my lap. Before long, that one tear turns into many and I’m a balling mess in the back seat, but Sawyer pretends not to notice and I’m thankful for it.
I just need to throw myself into the role my father dreams for me, and maybe, just maybe, the feelings I have will diminish over time.
Chase
It’s been three days, and she’s still not answering her phone. When we woke up that morning, she was gone, the bed cold where she was laying when we went to sleep. When we stepped into the living room and began cleaning, we found her note, telling us goodbye and she didn’t want the same as us.
Instead of going back to the club every night meeting women like he usually would, Carter stayed at the cabin with us. We were heading home in a few days and my nerves were on end. It was now or never—I had to talk to Blake. My only hope is he doesn’t hate me after.
We’re sitting on the couch, devouring the burgers we picked up from the sports bar in town, when Blake speaks up. “So what do we want to do for New Years? Bar or stay home and watch the ball drop on the television. I know our flight leaves the day after, then it’s back to classes and early morning practices.”
“I’m going to stay in. I just want to relax a little before we go back,” Carter tells us, but I know it’s because of Ginny. I think he’s afraid of seeing her out somewhere with another guy.
“Hell, I think we should all stay in,” Blake says as he scoots closer to me, putting his arm around me. “I can’t wait until we get home and everyone knows you’re my man.”
My heart plummets into my stomach. I have to talk to him, tell him how I’m feeling. “Maybe we can keep it to ourselves for a little while,” softly comes from my lips.
Blake pulls his arms away from me, scooting back on the couch as he looks at me, confused.
“On that note, I’m taking a shower and heading to bed.” Carter stands, leaving the room, allowing us the privacy to talk.
Once Carter is out of the room and we hear his door shut, Blake starts talking. “What do you mean, wait? I thought we were a couple. Why would we keep it a secret?”
“Blake, I’m not ready to be under the scrutiny of the whole school, our teammates.”
“The scrutiny. Really, that’s what you’re going with?” Blake's voice raises in anger.
“Blake, I'm not out to the team yet. Coming back and revealing my sexuality and that I’m in a relationship with you is too much at once. I just want time to come out to them, then when they’re okay with it, I can tell them about us.”
“Oh, I see you want to take time. Let them come to terms with who you are, then, when all is well, let them know about us. So what’s this timeline you’re working on, Chase? A week, a month, two, or is it a year?” Blake’s pacing at this point, his fist clenching and unclenching.
