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Then Gawain came up beside where Draven and I rode at the front. “I take it we’re heading for that mountain?”
I nodded. From my father’s mind, I had seen the general region I had to move towards. I had known the direction and that there would be mountains but not much else. Now we had a name.
“I doubt we’ll have to ask for anything more specific,” Draven remarked. “Not if this thing towers above the mist as the man claimed.” He looked over at me. “A few more days along the coastal road, then we’ll turn inland to the west. A few days after that, we should come to the Mountains of Mist. The riding will be hard. We’ll skirt around Dornum. There’s no reason to go there based on what you’ve shared with me already. When we reach the mountains, the terrain will turn rocky and treacherous. We may have to leave the horses.”
I nodded. “The exmoors should be fine.”
Even now, Nightclaw and Sunstrike traveled with us, staying close but keeping out of sight. At times, they prowled along the beach below the cliff road. At others, they rested and caught up with us at night.
When they flew, they flew low and slow. Sunstrike’s wing could not tolerate anything more strenuous than that yet.
We rode throughout the rest of the day, stopping only to water the horses. All afternoon, I imagined a black mountain rising out of the mist.
CHAPTER 19 - MEDRA
I passed a cold and lonely night hiding from Crescent atop a turret watchtower.
Crouched beside a stone guardrail, I drifted in and out of sleep as above me the stars rose and set in the sky. They seemed very distant. As cold and lonely as I felt.
Things with Sir Ector had not gone well. I had realized too late that I was not supposed to beat him.
Twelve-year-old girls were not supposed to beat grown men in feats of arms.
Or, at least, girls who looked twelve-years-old.
For I was not twelve, was I? I was not even a year.
And yet when I saw other children, I felt older than them all. How easily they laughed and smiled and played. They felt a happiness I could not.
I’d hurt Sir Ector.
Sent him tumbling down. He’d broken his hip. A healer had to be called. Dame Halyna had chided me angrily and sent me away.
I think she thought I’d done it on purpose.
I hadn’t, of course, not really. Though I could have if I’d wanted to.
But I hadn’t. I liked Dame Halyna and Sir Ector. Until then.
I simply lacked an adequate understanding of my own strength. I’d wanted Sir Ector to be stronger than me. I’d wanted to believe he could beat me no matter how far I let myself go—and so I had given myself permission to go far.
And then he had fallen.
I was stronger than they thought. Stronger than I still knew.
They had been the last of my tutors. Somehow I knew there would not be any others, no matter how Crescent beseeched for more to come.
He was alone. I was alone. And the castle grew emptier and emptier by the day.
Taina had been sent home. Crescent didn’t want me near her anymore.
Dame Halyna had come searching for me. She had seemed to expect me to make some kind of apology. When I’d stood there stubborn and sullen, eventually, she had gone away.
I hadn’t gone to visit Sir Ector. I didn’t think he’d want to see me. They said his hip was very bad. An infection in the bone.
Perhaps he would die.
Would it have been my fault if he did? Would I be... a murderer?
