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There was more to what I could do. So much more than strength.
But I would never let them see it. It would only make them more afraid.
Sometimes I was afraid of myself.
Of how fast I grew.
Of the voices in my head.
Of my dreams.
There had been a man in my dream once. Grey-haired and ancient as the wind.
But I’d closed the door on him, and after that, I had never seen him again.
A light rain had begun to fall. In the distance, thunder boomed.
Soon, the cloak I had wrapped around me was soaked through.
I let it fall to the ground and walked to the edge of the watchtower.
The height was dizzying. A shiver of apprehension went through me as I ran my hands over the cool, wet stone of the guardrail.
A wild wind blew through my hair, tangling the strands.
Heavier drops of rain were falling around me now, splattering the stones. The building storm mirrored the turmoil inside of me.
The rumbling of thunder came again in the distance. I had always hated the sound. Now I welcomed it.
The taste of my loneliness was bitter on my tongue.
I knew this was not a feeling ordinary children had. This sense of dark disquiet that seeped into my very being, casting a shadow on my heart.
My fingers curled around the stone edge as I pushed myself up and slowly stood.
A gust of wind swept over the watchtower.
For a moment, I swayed, teetering on the edge. Far down below, the landscape unfolded like a tapestry. Miniature figures scurried through the castle grounds, seeking shelter from the rain.
The perspective was vertigo-inducing. A tingling sensation crept through my limbs the longer I stood balancing on the edge looking down.
Another gust of wind buffeted the tower, and for a heart-stopping moment, I teetered. With a gasp, I crouched down, digging my fingers into the cold stone of the guardrail for support.
A choked sob broke from my throat as I steadied myself, muscles tense with the effort.
It was all so much trouble. This business of being alive.
I dared to glance down once more. The ground seemed to swirl and shift as the rain and mist clouded my view of the castle grounds.
What was the point of any of it? No one had ever explained it to me.
There was no one down there who mattered to me, and I mattered to no one.
No one would miss me if I were gone. They would be glad.
Crescent wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore.
The servants could come back. They wouldn’t have to be afraid.
