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“You need to understand that it’s hard for me to trust women,” he said, dragging his eyes away from me and taking a deep breath. “I want more, Laura, but I'm afraid you might get overwhelmed and then leave when things get complicated. Maja would be devastated, and I don’t want her to remember you like this—like another woman her father drove away.”
I was not expecting this at all. I thought he would want to talk about Friday night, that maybe he would apologise and acknowledge that he had acted badly, but no … instead, he was showing his vulnerable and broken side. An emotion—pride, relief?—swelled my chest when I realised I’d been right about him. The attitude was an act he put on because once upon a time, a woman he loved so much, probably Maja’s mother, had betrayed him, and he couldn’t let that go.
Giggles came from the living room, breaking our moment. Spencer’s expression changed, growing tense and serious once again. He took another step towards me, his ripped, muscular body towering over mine.
“Spencer, I’m not planning to go on holiday with you and then flirt with other men. Also, I'm not planning to leave. I couldn’t do it to Maja,” I admitted.
“Good, because you know I care about you, and I can promise you I'll be on my best behaviour,” he said.
His lips were only inches away from mine, and I didn’t think I could resist …
“Even when you are close, I promise you I won’t try to tuck your hair behind your ear like this.”
My breath hitched when he moved a wayward lock behind my ear, sending a tremor down my spine. I parted my lips as he leaned closer, brushing his cheek with mine. I shuddered.
“What else won’t you do?” I whispered. I was playing with fire, but I needed to hear more, feel more, discover more.
“And I won’t say that I want to peel your little bikini off you with my teeth when we are alone at the beach, then make you scream my name while you ride my face all night long. No, I won’t do any of those things because you’re still my nanny and I’m your boss.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Spencer
Laura rushed out of the kitchen, all flustered and breathless. She’d pushed me again, and I’d shared some things with her about myself that no one else knew. She needed to understand what she was doing to me, but at the same time we couldn’t cross that line, at least not just yet.
After the conversation in the kitchen, Laura and I fell into a new routine. I could no longer avoid her, so we had dinners together while I watched her, indulging myself by just being in her presence. We talked, laughed, and argued as it was easier this way, even though I was dying inside when we accidentally touched or if I caught her staring at me.
The conversation between her and Sarah, the crazy pink-haired nanny, kept playing on my mind throughout the whole week. I didn’t think I was ready to have another child, but if that meant that I could keep her with me, then perhaps this was a good plan. A mad plan, to be sure, but one that seemed plausible in my twisted mind. Because still, the thought of being in a committed relationship had me sweating with anxiety.
On a personal level, I was so messed up.
On Saturday, late afternoon, after spending a few hours with MP Stearne and his twin boys at his home, I felt at ease. We had only interacted briefly before, and he was much younger than me, and quite new to politics. He came across as a nice guy, and most of all, Maja enjoyed being around his sons.
Afterwards, I dropped my daughter off at my mother’s, then went straight home. The school term was ending next week, and I needed to pack our bags. I had staff for this but enjoyed doing it all myself; it helped me feel normal after a year of schmoozing and politicking.
We were leaving for Palermo on Friday morning on a private flight, and I was looking forward to this holiday. First, because I could finally relax and get away from my stressful life in London, and second, because I was ready to seduce my infuriating nanny.
She’d become my new obsession. She wanted me, too, so we both needed to get each other out of our systems. This was going to be easy. I had promised her I’d be on my best behaviour while we were away, but my desire for her was destroying the last bits of resilience I had. I was ready to burn the whole world for this woman, if that’s what it took to make her mine.
This heatwave wasn’t helping my sexual frustration, so once I got home, I had a cold shower because the image of Laura on her knees during that first night we’d met kept invading my memories. Still, I remained semi-hard when I walked back, naked, into my bedroom.
I opened the drawer and looked through my boxers when something caught my eye. I lifted a pair of red knickers and brought them up to my face, thinking that surely there must have been some mistake.
“She wouldn’t,” I whispered, staring at her knickers. This wasn’t the pair I’d accidentally ruined with my cum the other day. Instead of that, she’d left me her red, sexy-as-fuck thong.
Damn it … of course. She’d figured out I’d stolen her knickers, which meant that she’d come into my bedroom and had gone through my things or maybe she’d done it whilst I’d been away in Sweden. My heart pumped more blood into my dick. I brought them up to my nose and inhaled deeply. Fuck, these knickers had been worn. She smelled incredible, and I remembered her every moan and every move from that time I’d made her come in that dark, empty staff corridor. The only time I’d lost control, the only time I’d had my hands on and in her.
My cock was now rock-hard. Laura was playing a game with me. So I’d play along.
I went to bed and wanked myself off. When I came with a grunt and made a fucking mess everywhere, I only felt good for a few moments because this only took the edge off my dark mood. It wasn’t Laura, and after a while, the yearning returned.
I was completely alone on Saturday evening, and me sitting in bed, sniffing my nanny’s worn knickers was undeniably pathetic. I was the fucking Prime Minister and good at my job, yet I was so fucked-up personally that I chose not to have a relationship with a woman who could take care of me. This had to change.
She will be mine soon.
The summer holidays kicked in, and Maja was brimming with excitement about our upcoming trip. We would take a private flight to Sicily, accompanied by my usual security staff. This trip had been meticulously planned for quite some time.
“Daddy, will Uncle Rupert be waiting for us at the airport?” Maja bounced up and down as we drove to the small airport where our jet waited.
