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‘Why is waiting so important?’ Sana’a murmured. ‘I’m not being argumentative. I do want to understand.’
Killen breathed out and shifted, crossing his hands under his head so his hair trailed over his arms. He stared up at the ceiling, choosing his words with care.
‘As I suspected and we observed today, she has a mass of dark íkan infested inside her. She is the source of the dying kízakan. And her vulstone is generating it. I must find a way to stop her before it takes over Katáne. I don’t want to kill her because her demise may accelerate the takeover of kíza. This is a probability if what the hawkstone has shown me is true. The very thing we desire, her death, will only spread the shadows further. Besides, I don’t want to be like my grandfather and eliminate and murder at will or berserk with insanity. Above all, he was a proud and vain king, obsessed with being flattered, who believed in his absolute authority and power. He was impulsive and quick-tempered, prone to rash decisions that often had disastrous consequences. In the end, he went mad from it all. No one told him the truth. And he lost the will and love of the people as a result.’
‘The love of the people? You want their praise?’
He sliced his eyes to her. ‘Nada, k’hanys, I’ve no intention of sitting on a throne, seeking adoration. The hawkstone has shown me that an obsession with flattery can lead to human or divine madness. A better option is to walk humbly without needing to be venerated.’
He paused for a beat. ‘The hawkstone has also revealed an alternative way of dealing with Kalila.’
‘How?’
‘By raising kemí itself. My efforts after bringing peace to the land will be on using every freakin’ tool I can. Including the hawkstone, to raise life, to heighten the breath of Kag?an enough to wipe out kíza. Once I do, she’s all yours.’
Sana’a shook her head. ‘That could take months, time I don’t have. I can’t twiddle my thumbs and wait for you to roll over your enemies first. By the time the fool has learned the game, the players will have dispersed.’
His lips turned up at the ends as he kissed her thigh. ‘Calling me a fool, beautiful?’
‘I’m calling you something,’ she quipped, but mirth was the last thing on her mind. She glanced away from him, her heart aching.
He leaned over to kiss her shoulder, but she shifted away.
‘You’re upset at me,’ he murmured.
She shook her head while letting out an exasperated huff. ‘Sable, when are you going to get it? I don’t use emotion to manipulate. What I’m sad about is that you and I are too different. You prefer non-violence and kusudi intent; I opt for the blade and righteous justice. You want peace on Katáne. I want revenge for my fallen father.’
She took an inhale before continuing. ‘Most importantly, you must remain on this rock to rule it. But I must return to my people and find a home for them. While your goals are valid, so are mine, and our paths are too divergent.’
‘K’hany’s, this is the first I’ve heard all of this, of how different we are,’ was all Killen could murmur as his eyes shuttered for a second, pain flitting across his craggy features. ‘Why have you never shared this before?.’
Sana’a sighed. ‘It’s never been a good time to discuss it—until now. Also, my work with you on Katáne is done,’ she went on. ‘It was completed the night of the kervisia ceremony. You’re now a better blader than I probably am.’
She paused for a beat, the only sound in the room their sentiment-ridden breaths.
‘Last of all, if I can’t complete my oath, I need to leave,’ Sana’a went on. ‘To return to my people, as my place is by their side.’
Killen gave her a long look, awareness rising in his gaze. ‘You’ve made up your mind.’
She turned, sliced her eyes to him, and nodded with care. ‘I have, my love,’ she said, plucking the edge of the sheet beneath her. ‘And I hate that we don’t have what it takes to make it to forever.’
He knifed up, a hardness in his eyes. ‘Nada, I won’t allow this to be the end of us. I won’t let you talk us, or me, into this.’
She rose from the bed, her eyes locking with his from across the fur and silk-lined divan. ‘But I see no other way. Think about it. How will we make it work? I’m Shotelai, you’re Katánian. We have such different paths to walk.’
Killen pushed a hand through his long locks and huffed in frustration. ‘K’hanys,’ he growled, tapping his chest. ‘I am certain, in my heart of hearts, that you are mine, and I am yours. We are fused for eternity.’
As he said it, he also touched the glowing jewel between his temples. It pulsed over her, and she jolted at its intensity.
‘Yet you won’t let me blade Kalila,’ she whispered.
Silence fell as he clenched his jaw and twisted his mouth.
She gave him a tremulous smile. ‘I didn’t think so. If you won’t allow it, I must return to my people. They need me.’
They stared at each other, chests heaving, souls churning.
With a frustrated growl, Killen turned away, banding his arms over his broad chest. ‘You know my answer on the Kalila, and I must think on the second.’
