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The chasm between them yawned even wider as Sana’a studied the man she adored, her heart breaking.
Biting her lips, she sighed. ‘Let’s keep it real. You can’t keep me here with no purpose. And with everything working against us, we can’t be together. I can’t be your lover, and I can’t stay. We may never find a compromise, so know this: I’ll always be happy for you even if you love another.’
‘Nada,’ Killen snarled, pain leaking from his eyes. His hawkstone blazed as he thrust his corded neck towards the roof as if trying to stem the agony that was shuddering through his body.
The same torment coursed through her, throbbing through her. With a surge of compassion, she rounded the bed and wrapped her arms around him from behind, speaking against the skin of his back. ‘Killen Sable, you will always be my unexpected lover, and what we shared was real; it’ll always be real. But Kíríga, while your heart might be in the right place about me, it is the wrong time for us.’
He tagged her arms and turned her to face him, his muscled bulk looming over her, his eyes glittering with the emotion cascading through him. ‘Fokk, Sana’a, please, I can’t do this without you,’ he groaned, gesturing around him to indicate the weight of his responsibility. ‘I won’t.’
She clutched his biceps, stroking his skin. ‘You will. You have courage beyond measure for this entire Kingdom.’
‘I can’t let you slip away,’ he cried out. ‘What will it take, Sana’a? Me begging?’
When she pressed her lips and shook her head without speaking, he let out a string of Devansi curses.
‘Please, don’t let be how we strike out. Fokk Sana’a, my heart’s in your hands now. Will you reconsider? Because, fokk, I can’t, nada, won’t do this journey without you.’
Her hands clutched him tighter. ‘Killen, we’re past reconsidering. I’ve thought long and hard about this.’
‘Yet you didn’t care to share your doubts with me,’ his voice was tight, his ire rising.
‘I am, right now.’
‘You’re dictating how we will end, not tabling it for discussion,’ he shouted.
Silence fell as both lovers stared at each other, chests heaving.
Finally, Sana’a spoke in a whisper that echoed through the quiet of the chamber. ‘I wish you peace and pray that you one day sit on the throne. Maybe even find a queen to walk by your side. But we can’t fix this. Not now. Let’s rest in the fact that all good things end. And we were amazing, Killen. More than amazing.’
His gaze scorched through her, chest heaving, nostrils flaring. ‘But not enough.’
His rasp was a slow, tortured and hoarse utterance that tore through her.
She took a step toward him.
With a shudder, he lifted one hand to ward her off and backed away. His eyes shuttered, turning grey and bleak like an iced-over lake.
She gave a small sob as she sensed his spirit withdraw, pulling away, shutting down through her being.
‘Can’t say we didn’t try. We gave it a fokkin’ good go,’ he snarled between twisting lips, eyes distant as he nabbed his clothes, pulled them on and strode from the room.
She stared at him leave, her heart pounding and her soul breaking.
When he was gone, and all that was left was a cold wind whistling through the chamber, Sana’a gasped.
Agony shattered all over her.
She doubled over and slid to the floor, huddled into a ball, where she remained for a long time.
Chapter 32
The shrouded woman’s metsai cloak left an invisible trail behind her as she moved with otherworldly grace.
Her crusher boots gave her lift as she hovered through the ornate eyrie, decorated with intricate carvings and gilded walls.
Her figure was a haunting yet unseen presence that ghosted past unseeing guards and yawning sentries.
Stealthed, Sana’a’s sorrow was hidden from the world, yet it lingered in the bow of her shoulders, and a shattering ache in her soul threatened to swamp her.
