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Levi leveled him with a thoughtful glance. "I strongly believe in our heritage; that the Goddess sends us our destined soulmate. Every time you got back up and continued to be strong is a fucking gift I'll always respect and cherish. To be frank, I don't give a damn that you killed that man. If it were to happen all-over-again, Goddess forbid it, I'd want you to fight to live. You want to know why? Because I'm one hundred percent confident that Ian would've if you didn't, and that's murder. Not you fighting tooth and nail just to see another fucking day."
"Ian wouldn't—"
Levi cut him off with a sharp laugh. "Kill for you? Elias, baby, you may be hurt and bruised, but you're not blind. A man in love can only tolerate so much before crossing a line."
"Wow, are you two are close buddies now?" Elias deflected.
Quiet reigned until Jem appeared to deliver the tea tray. Two steaming cups, sugar, milk, and honey, were on it, along with a small plate of what looked to be cinnamon cookies. Elias took one once Jem placed the tray down and forced himself to sit on the edge of the couch.
"Thank you," Levi said, voice flat.
"Of course. If you need anything else, you know where to find me."
Then they found themselves alone again. Elias munched on his cookie, distracting himself with the soft burst of sweetness on his tongue and the tingle of spice. Levi watched him closely while stirring honey into his cup with slow tinks of a spoon. It'd be unnerving if he weren't so…
He didn't know what to call it.
Apprehensive?
"Did he tell you about the scars, too?" Elias asked, needing to know.
"I didn't know about them," Levi replied after taking a long sip of scalding tea. "And yes, they're difficult to study, but not for the reason you're thinking. I see at them and ache at the thought of you being in pain, and to hear that you believe it's all your fault is a hard pill to swallow. I'm not going to argue with you anymore or invalidate your feelings by trying to convince you otherwise. I want to show you what it's like to be with a pack that can handle your condition, not just endure it. Allow me to take the first step. Meet me halfway. Enter my den. Or take off, that's a valid choice too."
The mention of Levi's den brought back the whispered words from the cafe about being strung up on a cross while Levi licked a path down his naked body. His omega was ready for that, standing at attention like always, but that didn't mean he should do it.
However, Ian's earnest face flashed through his mind along with Dane's head thrown back on a laugh. Despite the little time they'd spent together, he didn't want to give it up. Tentatively, he scooted closer, eyes downcast as he gently tugged on Levi's shirt, unsure.
"I want to see your den," he ventured.
"Are you sure?"
"No, but I'm trying… I want to believe in love even when I don't." Elias shuddered from head to toe, letting out a high, bitter laugh. "I don't even know what I'm saying."
"Well, you don't have to finish your thoughts on it right now," Levi replied, nuzzling his hair. "We can talk about it again, preferably after I've gotten my fill of you."
"Only if you earn it. Pretty words don't impress me."
"So you've said."
Levi ran his hand up the length of Elias' spine, barely touching him while letting out calming pheromones. Elias slumped and took a deep breath, dropping his forehead to the alpha's shoulder. Was it just him, or was that conversation an emotional rollercoaster? Tears sprang to edges of his vision that he blinked away, banishing them from this happy conclusion. They weren't screaming at each other or at one another's throats, so Elias considered this a win.
"Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
They stood together, Levi leading Elias out of the room. Down the long hall was a home office, the library, which he wanted to check out later, and several first-floor guest rooms. The further into the tour they got, the more Elias' shoulders fell from his ears. Soon enough, he let himself fall into his curious nature, fluttering from once expensive marvel to the next. Question after question flowed from his lips, and Levi humored every single one.
Up the wide staircase were two halls.On the left side, there was a sunroom that had an abundance of cozy chairs, a couch filled with blankets, with bookshelves occupying every corner. He had a strong longing to leap into the comfortable ambience and explore its potential as a nest. Levi seemed to pick up on it, gently steering him away.
Levi led Elias to the other side of the hall, where his bedroom suite loomed behind a pair of double doors. Its enormous size made Elias seem small in comparison. He resisted the urge to stop and smell the mussed grey duvet on Levi's bed, tried not to gawk at the mind-blowing closet or scoff at the messy desk, and envied the clawfoot tub in the bathroom. Everything shined, lavish and in your face with its wealth.
It impressed him, however…
The den loomed next door, and Elias' heart rate galloped away, making him dizzy. Was he seriously considering indulging in sex after everything he'd just admitted? He'd said it out loud. He straight up told Levi he wasn't sure if he was happy to be alive right now. There was no release of lifelong weight or absolution for his crimes. Elias followed his alpha like a ghost, shocked to the point of apathy.
He had a moment of realization - he was doing it again. Stepping into a risky situation with a not-so-familiar alpha to prove himself. Of what? He wanted to scream, but there would be no answer. The demons in his head didn't cater to his questions or wishes. They were mindless, brutal creatures.
Levi went in first, turning on the lights. Contrary to his expectations, it wasn't dark or intimidating. The walls were a welcoming cream, but toys and equipment lined each one. From whips, ropes, canes, and floggers to things even Elias didn't recognize.
