AllFreeNovel
Share Us
With that, and a copious amount of toppings, they dug in. August was right. Momentary unease wasn't enough to stop him from eating almost the entire plate. The combination of melted cheese and warm, well-seasoned meat was enough to send him into another plane of existence.
"Ugh, I'm so full."
He experienced significant improvement after eating, though. A hot meal solves all life's problems. Ian would totally agree, since he was the chef between them. Thinking about his alpha, Elias smiled at the waitress with fondness as he took a to-go box. She flushed, smiling back with a dip of her chin while setting down the bill.
"T-take your time," she said.
Elias busied himself with scraping his leftovers into the small box while August watched her go, eyes unreadable. "I'll hold you to it."
He glanced up, shutting the box. "Hold me to what?"
August set his utensils down and grabbed the check while shuffling out his wallet. "Try this time—really try to let yourself be happy. We can go to lunch once a week, talk about it, keep you sane by discussing all the things you'd never say to them. And before you protest, you know I'm right. You don't talk about your problems with anyone except me."
Elias shut his mouth with a scowl, but couldn't really be mad at the assessment when it was true. There was no one else he'd rather talk to, and that could change with time and energy, but it certainly wouldn't happen overnight.
"You're not obligated to help me, you know," he forced himself to say, knowing August wasn't his real father.
The alpha threw down more than enough to cover the bill and tip before standing and pulling Elias up with him, waving goodbye to their waitress. Rather than go back the way they came, August turned left, guiding Elias toward the city center. An extensive park was the only thing to break up the concrete jungle that was Hamton. Fresh sod and cobbled paths all led to a massive water fountain in the center. Solid, old oak trees littered the space, providing shade for picnic-goers and passing joggers in need of a break.
The foot traffic intensified as people pressed in from all sides, heading towards the fountain depicting the Goddess and her Moon. August's calming, woodsy scent coated Elias's consciousness like a weighted blanket, preventing him from freaking out.
The benches on the sidewalks were filled with happy customers, most of whom were enjoying hot dogs from the nearby cart. August and Elias stopped in front of the fountain, sensing the water clinging to their clothes and skin as they stood at the edge and listened to the rush of it. Coins shimmered at the bottom, mocking Elias with wishes he knew never came true.
So why did he want to make one of his own, anyhow?
"I know that's true," August finally replied. "But you remind me of who I was a very long time ago, and sue me for wanting to help you find happiness, as I have. No matter how impossible it appears. When I was just coming out of high school, I ran from someone whose claims of making me happy were false. They didn't love me. Ownership is not the same thing, and I think you know that now."
Elias nodded, not taking his eyes from August's profile. He ran from someone? When? Why? An alpha leaving for their own safety seemed strange and out of place, but Elias would never judge August for that. His decision to share his pain showed its authenticity.
"And you think that's what I've been doing? Running?"
August sat down on the edge of the fountain, passing his fingers through the cool water. "Isn't it? If I have it wrong, please correct me."
Elias enjoyed pretending he had no emotions. It was easier that way, but it just wasn't true. He felt everything, all the time, all at once. Sometimes, he longed for his mind to go silent, but when it refused, he would bury himself in work or media to drown out his anger and pain. Though it appeared to be successful, a sense of unease crept in. What if he turned out to be a failure, after all?
He could admit to having a few flaws, most of them of a deeply personal nature. They were so tender it was agonizing anytime someone so much as grazed the subject. Ian attempted to discuss his past countless times, only to be met with a harsh shutdown from Elias like clockwork. He scoffed, biting his tongue.
"You're not wrong," he responded, gaze trained on the Goddess bending over with a smile, cupping the soft cheek of Luna, her perfect match, at the fountain's center. "So what am I supposed to do? Go home and spill my guts out to the ones who matter?"
"Only if you want to. All I'm saying is that you need to recognize these things about yourself in order to make progress."
Elias nodded, glancing down at his mentor, father figure, and friend. "I hear you. Now, can we go back to the office? I actually have a mountain of paperwork to finish before five."
"Sure thing."
The door to the apartment clicked shut behind him as Elias barrelled inside. With a sigh of relief, he kicked off his shoes, shucked off his coat, and loosened his too-tight tie. It'd been suffocating him all day. Sometimes all he wanted at the end of a long day was a pair of fluffy cotton pants and a worn-out graphic tee.
He heard sounds of cooking from the main room, and could smell butter chicken with garlic and cumin. Elias' mouth watered as he padded down the hall and into the living room, looking across the bar to where Ian was in his element. He stirred a huge pan of bubbling golden sauce while peeking into the oven, most likely having made his own bread.
Elias closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the warm and comforting air around him, letting it wash away his jitters. He found it challenging to live in the present because his mind was preoccupied with worrying about what lay ahead. Whenever he slipped, Elias remembered something his very first therapist said.
Life would lack meaning if moments weren't lived in.
"Rough day?"
Elias blinked, finding Ian facing him with his hands splayed across the island, head tilted to the right. The look in his eye was curious, with a tinge of worry, and it made Elias want to stare. He'd always loved Ian's amber gaze. It was so unique.
"Yeah, but nothing I can't handle. Dinner smells good," he replied.
