AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Ian smiled. "I know you love a good butter chicken, plus Dane and Levi are both fine with it."
Elias raised his brows. "They're coming over?"
"Yeah, in a half an hour, so go on and wash up."
He hesitated for a moment, wringing his hands as he shifted from foot to foot. There was one thing that'd been bothering him. Ian was his longest friend and, admittedly, had been in love with Elias for most of their lives. It could be that he had just been too obtuse to accept it, or perhaps it was yet another fact he had ignored in favor of saving himself.
Either way, was Ian really okay with sharing him? Wouldn't he have a sense of greater need and claim than the others, or was Elias overthinking it?He probably was, but he only had half an hour before the others arrived to shower him in their scent and affection. Elias wanted to clear this up before then for his own conscience.
"Hey."
Ian bent into the fridge, displaying his firm ass for Elias to stare at. He didn't want to, but it was right there. Sue him for finding his alpha attractive, especially when Ian worked out regularly to keep up his health.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything. Let it rip."
Elias shuffled again, resisting the urge to tear at the skin around his fingers. "Be honest with me, like, painfully honest. Are you genuinely okay with this? You've known me the longest and lo—"
He cut himself off, rubbing one hand down his face. Others have mentioned it enough times for it to be true, but it didn't feel right when he spoke the words. Why was that?
You believe you don't deserve it.
His mind provided the flashback, and Elias turned to the window, striding over to lean both palms against the sill. There were fewer cars on the roads, and the sun slowly fell beyond the horizon, sparkling against the ocean in the far distance—rich orange on shimmering aqua.
"You keep score," Ian stated, sounding closer than before. Elias didn't turn. "It's your default, I get it, but that's not how relationships should be measured. Emotions are not quantifiable like your work is."
Elias' hands tightened on the sill. "Then how should they be measured?"
Ian grabbed his upper arm, gently guiding him around so they were facing one another. Then his fingers traveled down to lace with Elias', holding on tight. He returned the squeeze as he met Ian's gaze, full of brooding sympathy. Elias didn't have a particular fondness for that expression. It bordered on pity.
"Does it have to be measured at all?"
Elias wanted distance, but forced himself to stay put. "That's not how I operate."
Ian smiled, eyes softening and becoming easier to bear. "That's true, but we can work on that together. Because people change, and sometimes for the better, right?"
Elias' chest seized at the idea of falling in love, true, undiluted love. He was uncertain about whether it was a positive or negative sensation. Ian wanted to help him move past his fears, just like August did.
You're serious about this? Alphas on alphas? Gaze upon your worthless reflection in the mirror. Remember where you started and where all the scars came from.
Like he'd ever forget…
"I'm going to try," he admitted.
It was the best he could do.
Ian's smile didn't fade, nor did he pull away. "And that's all I ask."
"But can you just answer my question without deflecting? Just this once?"
"Does it bother me? Not really, because you're opening up for the first time in a while. If Dane and Levi help you, then I'm more than willing to let them into our life."
"Have I ever told you that you're too self-sacrificing?"
Ian chuckled. "A few times, yes. Usually it's about my job, though."
