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“I’m still here,” he shrugged. “Eight members of our team can’t say that, so I’m thankful for that. I just…I’m telling you this because I want you to know for sure that we get it. We understand what you’re going through. What happened to us all to traumatize us was different, and how we handled it was too, but we have all dealt with PTSD, just like you are now, and we still are. You don’t need to hide it from us when you’re struggling. You can come to us and tell us what you need and we’ll be there because we one hundred per cent know what you’re going through. We can handle it, and we can help you through this. We want to. You hearing me?” he asked with the hint of a smile.
“Yeah,” I agreed, feeling a little emotional at how open he was being with me, all to make sure I knew I wasn’t alone anymore. It meant so much after the months I had been struggling one day to the next just to keep going. “I think I am.”
“Good. So, are we going to find the others, or shall I call Harris for his keys so I can drive you back to the house?” he offered, not pressuring me either way. The temptation to just give up and return to the house was great, especially when some kids started screaming loudly somewhere behind us, but I shook my head.
“No. I want to stay, at least for a while,” I told him. I needed to try and get back to some semblance of normal. Hopefully, sometime soon, this would all be over and I could go back home. When that happened I would hopefully return to my exciting new job. I’d have to get back to normal life. I wanted to be able to take my nieces and nephews to the park, or go shopping with my mom and Livy. I had to get over these issues that I was allowing to consume me.
I pushed back the ache I felt, deep inside, at the idea of going home to my normal life and having to face it all without these four amazing guys at my side. Why did the idea of leaving them hurt so much? It didn’t make sense. I’d only been with them a few days. No, I couldn’t think like that. My feelings for them all couldn’t be real. It was just another part of my messed up brain, fucking with me. Then I remembered Livy telling me she had felt something similar for all four of my brothers in the beginning. She hadn’t believed it was possible to be falling in love with all four of them. But she had and look how that turned out.
“Evie?” Aleks pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to him confused.
“Yeah?”
“I was just saying I want you to tell me or one of the others if it becomes too much, okay? We can come to the car for a break, or we can bring you back home. You just need to let us know.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Thank you, Aleks.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m here for you malenka, whatever you need.” He brought our joined hands up to his lips and kissed my knuckles gently. I blushed at what felt like such an intimate gesture, but the flutter in my stomach was impossible to ignore.
“What does that mean? The word you call me?” I asked, feeling a little flustered as he led me across the parking lot towards the kids play park, where I could see the others already.
“It’s Polish. It means ‘little one’ in an affectionate way,” he explained. “It just seemed to fit you, since you’re so tiny,” he added with a chuckle.
“I’m not tiny!” I cried as I mock glared up at him. “I’m an average height for a woman, I’ll have you know.”
“Okay, okay!” he laughed as he held his free hand up in surrender. “You want me to stop calling you that?”
“No,” I sighed. “You can call me that.” I loved the way the foreign word sounded and I didn’t want him to stop. “As long as we agree I’m not short.”
“Of course. You’re just compact,” he teased.
“I’m big enough to kick your ass,” I warned him as I hit out playfully. “Keep pushing me and I’ll show you.”
“I might enjoy that actually,” he laughed and again I was blushing.
“So you’re Polish?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.
“Yes. My parents moved to the states before I was born, from a small town in Poland call Tarnów.”
“And I’m guessing you speak Polish?”
“Yeah. My mom refused to learn English until the day she died. We spoke Polish at home.”
“That’s awesome. I always wanted to speak another language, but the best I have is some very bad high school French,” I laughed. “Have you ever been…to Poland. Have you seen where your parents were from?”
“No, but I’d love to go one day. The country has changed a lot since my parents left, I think.”
“You should do it.”
“Maybe I will,” he replied with a grin. “Maybe you’ll come with me?”
“Maybe I will.” I looked up to him with a waggle of my eyebrows and we both laughed.
“Leks!” Zack squealed happily as we passed through the gate and into the play area. We both looked up and found him sat in the swing, a huge smile on his rosy-red face, his hands reached out before him for Aleks.
“I think he wants you to push him,” Nick laughed as he looked over to us from where he was currently pushing the swing very gently.
“Of course he does. Daddy’s too boring, isn’t he? He doesn’t push you high like Uncle Aleks does,” Aleks said in a cute little voice, just for Zack. As if these men weren’t all enough of a challenge for my heart and libido, they had to go and be amazing with the baby too! They were killing me!
