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“Oh. How did you know I’d be here?”
Jackson looked to the ground before meeting my eyes. “I didn’t expect to see you here at all. Your Mom never spends this day alone, Bailey. I’ve made sure of that for the past five years. No matter what, I am always here. I spend the morning, afternoon, or evening with her. If it’s the morning, we come here, and then I take her out for breakfast. Sometimes, Ryan joins us, but he had some work-related things he had to do this morning, so he asked me to tell your mom he was sorry he couldn’t make it. That’s what I told her before she went and sat down. Normally, I meet her here at eight, but I was running a little late this morning.”
I didn’t know what to say to his admission. I did not know that he had been doing this for the past five years. “Why has Mom never mentioned it to me?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know, so I asked her not to say anything,” he said, looking at the ground. “If you think you’re the only one who carries guilt around with you, you’re wrong, Bailey.”
I didn’t know what to say. I looked into the blue eyes I’d loved so much and saw a mountain of emotion. “Is that what the nightmares are about? That night?”
Jackson looked at me and I feared he was once again not going to tell me, but he surprised me by nodding. “Every single one. They are always the same. I watch the whole thing happen as I am running towards them, but feel like I get nowhere. I didn’t get there in time. Now, the nightmares remind me I let us fall apart.”
“You didn’t let us fall apart,” I whispered.
“Didn’t I? The night of the shooting, I promised your brother right before he died that I’d always look after you. When things got tough between us, I let him down. So, it’s not only the guilt of me not being there to help him when he needed us, but now it’s the guilt of breaking my promise to him. I can’t protect you and keep you safe when we aren’t together.”
“Is that what you were dreaming about the other night?” I questioned.
“Yes. They’ve been worse this year than ever. Although, aside from the one night, they’ve all stopped the nights you were with me, except for that one.”
“Really.”
“Yes,” Jackson said, stepping in closer to me. “With you around, they are almost non-existent. I know you hate my job. I know you hate the fact I’m in danger, but it’s what I signed up to do. I love my job, just like your brother loved his.”
I felt the tears well in my eyes again. I went to turn away to hide my face from him, but Jackson wouldn’t allow it. He stepped in and wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me against him.
“I know,” I whimpered.
“Bailey, do me a favor and just let it all go,” he whispered to me as he held me in his arms. “Let it go so we can have the chance that we deserve. He’d want us to be happy.”
He held me in the safety of his arms as I cried, letting go of all the guilt I carried from the night of brother’s death. He didn’t let me go when I’d quieted down either, instead he just continued to hold me.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered, kissing my forehead.
“I don’t want to leave either,” I said, looking up into his eyes.
“Then don’t. Stay here and marry me,” he said, leaning down and meeting my lips for a quick kiss. “Marry me like you were supposed to.” He whispered, his lips grazing mine again.
I looked into his eyes. “Are you kidding?”
He shook his head. “Bailey, I want to spend my life with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. That’s why I waited for you.”
“Jackson…” I placed my hands on his chest, not sure how I was supposed to respond.
“Look, I know this isn’t the perfect place to ask you. A cemetery isn’t the place for this, and I promise in a few days I’ll take you someplace more romantic and get down on one knee. For now, though, you need to know that I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
His words hit me all at once. Marrying him was all I ever wanted deep down as well.
“I love you, Bailey.”
“I love you too, and yes, I will marry you.”
Jackson
Bailey lay in my arms, her eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep. The warmth from the fire was soothing as one of the worst winter storms Sunset Cove had ever seen raged outside.
We’d had Christmas dinner with her mom, then spent the evening watching movies and sipping on hot cocoa before we’d returned here to our place. I’d built a fire while Bailey brought out a bunch of blankets and pillows from the bedroom, throwing them down on the floor. There we curled up together and watched another movie.
“You are just about asleep.” I whispered, kissing the shell of her ear.
