Page 3 of Scars on my Heart


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"Will you be making enough that we can have an allowance like before?" Dylan questioned.

I swallowed hard. Lucas and I had given the boys a tiny allowance. Now money would be tighter than before, and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to. I shook my head. "We will have to see, okay?"

Dylan nodded, clearly not happy with that answer.

"I promise, guys, things are going to be okay." I wanted to be reassuring, but I knew my voice was anything but.

"I miss Dad," Noah said, leaning into my side and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Me too,” Dylan said, wrapping his arms around me from the other side.

I wrapped my arms around them and pulled them in for a hug. "I know you do. I miss him too, but you know what? He'd be so proud of the two of you for making this move and how well you are adjusting. You’re both going to like it here so much. You just need to wait and see. Your dad liked it here. Often we'd talked about retiring here."

"Really?"

"Yes," I said, hugging Noah again.

Dylan got up and wandered over to the living room window and looked outside. There was yelling on the street.

"What’s going on outside there, Dylan?" I questioned.

"Just a bunch of kids playing basketball."

"Well, why don't you guys go outside and see if you can join in? What do you think of that?"

Dylan looked over his shoulder at me and smiled, running to get his shoes on, followed by Noah.

I got up off the couch and watched as my boys ran down the front steps and out to the road, where they were quickly welcomed and began playing with the other kids. I watched for a few minutes and then quickly replied to Trinity, letting her know I was excited to hear from her and to get the start date for my new job. Then I slowly made my way back into the kitchen and continued unloading boxes.

An hour later, I'd made a cup of tea and sat down in the kitchen with a sandwich to take a break. I looked around at the piles of boxes that were strewn about. It was going to take me forever to get this house organized. I guess it was just going to take one day at a time. That was all I could do. I really hoped I hadn't made a mistake by moving out here. Sure, it was a quieter life, but the jobs just didn't pay what they paid in the city. However, neither were mortgage prices.

Taking a sip of my tea, I sat back in my chair. "Lucas, I really hope you are watching over us up there. I could really use your help," I muttered, before taking a bite of my tuna sandwich.

Zach

"Grace, sit still, would you?" I said, struggling with her hair in one hand and an elastic band in the other.

"That isn't the way Mom does it! You’re pulling my hair,” she cried, tilting her head away from me.

"Well, it's not Mom doing your hair now, is it?" I grumbled, irritated that I couldn’t get the elastic to cooperate with my big fingers. Finally getting the elastic around the messy ponytail, I took a deep breath and committed myself to the next challenge. "Now hold still while I figure out how to braid your hair."

“A braid is easy, Dad.” Grace sighed.

I'd been watching YouTube videos for days on how to braid hair, and even though it appeared easy, it really wasn’t, and I struggled with how to hold her hair. Grace sat in front of me, running her spoon through her oatmeal.

"Why do I have to eat oatmeal? I don't even like oatmeal. Mom would never make me eat oatmeal."

"Since when don’t you like oatmeal? It's good for you. Now eat it before it gets cold. You can't go to school without breakfast."

"Mom never makes me eat oatmeal," Grace said, taking her spoon, holding it in the air, and watching as the oatmeal fell back into the bowl.

I’d known full well this would be what happened after Grace stayed with her mother for the last couple weeks of summer, while I came out here to look at this property my mother wanted to buy. We’d recently lost my father, and it had always been her dream to run a bed-and-breakfast. So, with nowhere to go after my divorce, I figured I’d check it out with her. Turned out to be a deal we couldn’t turn down, and with my investment in the property, it left my mother with only a tiny mortgage.

"Grace. Please. Just eat your breakfast. I have a lot to get done today. The contractors will be here soon to start renovations in the rooms, and I need to get you to school.”

"I told you; I don't want to go to school. I want to stay here with Grams."

I was ready to bang my head against the wall.

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