Page 48 of Scars on my Heart


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I cleared my throat. "Grace told me what happened, and I'd like to start off by saying she is at home in her room with no TV, no phone, no video games."

Iris nodded. “If you think that is best, then I won’t disagree, but I don’t really see a reason for punishing her for telling the truth.”

"Well, that is because she didn’t tell the truth. She told you that her mother and I are getting back together. I don't understand where she comes up with it, but Valerie and I are over—as over as we were the day of our divorce. There never will be a us again."

Iris said nothing. She just stood there.I wasn’t sure if I liked the look in her eyes. It was as if she didn’t believe me.

“Grace said that she saw you two kissing yesterday.”

I nodded. “She saw what she thought was kissing. Instead, what she saw was her mother trying her fucking hardest to get me to buckle in to giving her that money. What she didn’t see or hear was me telling her I’d met someone.”

“Why didn’t you mention Valerie had come to the house?”

“I just didn’t. I wanted us to have a stress-free day. I wanted things to go perfectly for you and the boys. I had no idea what went on with you and Grace, but I know her attitude toward you was not called for. She doesn’t like you. She can damn well learn to like you. Also, the lying thing, playing you against me with the soda, she does this with her mother and I all the time. There will be an end to it. If you ever question anything she ever asks you or tells you, ask me. That will stop it really fast."

When she said nothing and pushed past me once again, this time sitting down on her rocking chair, I frowned. I was going to have to work to fix this, that I was sure of. Iris hadn't deserved this treatment from Grace, and I certainly didn't deserve the silent treatment from her.

"Please talk to me."

"I understand. She is probably struggling with everything. Maybe she isn't ready to share you with someone just yet."

"That isn’t on her to decide. There is enough of me to go around."

Iris shook her head. "I know you think that, and before you say anything, this isn’t something you did, and this isn’t Gracie’s fault either. I just feel that perhaps the universe is telling us something. This really shouldn’t be this hard. Perhaps we are better off just staying friends."

I stood there, waiting for her to continue. I knew what she was going to tell me. That we should cut ties, so as not to complicate their lives any further and to let things run their course. If we were meant to be then we would be. She'd been pushing for that all along, and perhaps I'd been too stubborn to listen.

Was it so bad that all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and promise to take care of her and her boys and Gracie for the rest of my life?

The silence grew between us. Then she surprised me by walking over to me and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Zach, I'm not your ex-wife. And you don't owe me any type of explanation. I understand Gracie is going through whatever it is she is going through. This is how she expresses herself. Our lives are messy, and just like I must protect my boys, you also need to protect Grace. That is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, believe me. I understand she needs you, and for whatever reason she is lashing out. This is when you need to be there for her. Sometimes, the hardest part of being a parent is realizing they have to come first and the things or people you really want, you can’t have."

I nodded and slowly wrapped my arms around her waist.“Is that what you are telling yourself?”

She nodded. "It is. That is why I’m suggesting that we bow out of this. Not because I want to, because believe me, I don’t, but because I feel you need to put your focus on Grace and figure out if you need to revisit your relationship with your ex-wife."

"I'd much rather you stay," I said, pressing my forehead to hers.

“I know you would, as would I, but I think for now it’s better that I don’t. I have two little boys in there that I can’t risk letting get hurt again. I made a promise to myself that when I got involved with someone, they had to be happy. When I tell them we won’t be seeing you again, I fear they are going to be hurt, and I need to be prepared to accept that I am the one responsible for that hurt. I am the one who hurt them. So, I’m going to say good night, Zach.”

She pressed her lips to mine one last time and then without another word, she grabbed her book and her blanket and made her way inside the house, shutting and locking the door. A while after she’d gone in, I still sat on the porch, gutted that she said those words. I wished things had been different and that this wasn’t the end of something that had only just begun.

Iris

Coffee and keys in hand, I was just about to leave the house when my phone rang. Irritated because I was already running late, I took a moment and looked down at my phone and saw my sister’s name. She’d been calling for days, and I’d yet to answer, but since the boys were at school, I figured it may be a better time to talk.

“Hey, Beth. How’s things?” I said, doing my best to sound upbeat and cheerful when I’d felt nothing but the opposite for weeks.

“Good, what about you? Have you heard anything from Zach?”

I’d told Beth everything that had happened the day of the picnic. She disagreed with me on many things, but the main one for allowing an eleven-year-old to dictate the fate of our relationship. I tried to explain it wasn’t just that information I was basing it on, but when she asked me to explain myself to her, I couldn’t. She told me then to put on my big girl pants, message him, and work things out or she was going to come down to Willow Valley and do it for me.

I chewed my lip. I’d messaged him like she’d asked. It wasn’t my fault he hadn’t responded. I cleared my throat, getting ready for her to bombard me with questions.

“No, nothing. It’s been radio silence on his end.”

“So you reached out?”

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