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Through burning eyes, she watched as I crawled my way up her body and placed my muscular frame on top of hers. I took what I wanted before she could reply, desperately kissing her, making her seductively savor her juices off my lips and tongue.
“See how sweet your pussy tastes? See how wet you get for me?” I possessively muttered, and she moaned into my mouth.
I sat back on my knees between kissing her and tore off my shirt. After pulling it up from the back and over my head, I threw it beside the rest of her stuff in a pile by the floor.
I kissed her again and unbuckled my belt and the button of my slacks. I was about to pull out my cock to make love to her. Except what happened next completely knocked me on my ass. The second she heard my zipper, her eyes shot open as if it tore her out of the moment.
“I can’t,” she expressed out of nowhere. “I can’t do this with you again. What the fuck am I doing?”
“Beaut—”
In one hard shove, she pushed me off her, and before I could stop her, she grabbed the blanket off the bed and shouted, “This was a mistake! We’re a mistake!”
Breaking my heart all over again.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CAPRI
“I am grateful that you were born, that your love is mine, and our two lives are woven and welded together.” —Mark Twain
I frantically grabbed my bra and panties off the floor and quickly threw them on along with my blouse and skirt. I couldn’t have it out with him while being naked, and he had yet to say anything at all. He was sort of just sitting on the edge of the bed, leaned over with his head between his hands.
I didn’t know where we went from here, and I hated myself to the max that I allowed it to get this far. I was supposed to be stronger than this, but with everything that happened today, I couldn’t resist his magnetic pull.
Once I was dressed again, he peered up at me with an expression of pure confusion, and I couldn’t blame him. What I just permitted between us wasn’t right, and I loathed that we were suddenly in this place and uncharted territory I never wanted to begin with or thought we’d abruptly be in.
And the worst part was, I hadn’t orgasmed like that since the last time we were intimate together, and the bastard knew it too. Nobody knew my body like Elias did, not even me. He was the one who showed me what I enjoyed sexually to begin with. Before him, I’d only kissed a few guys. My father was extremely protective, and I’d only done that prior to meeting him.
I don’t know if it was the day.
The messing around.
The look on his face.
Or maybe it was from feeling so fucking weak all of a sudden.
I didn’t hesitate in admitting, “I truly don’t think you have any idea how much you broke me.”
His eyebrows pinched together as he intently listened to every word I expressed.
“Elias, I can stand here and pretend I hate you because it would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you. You’re doing that enough for us both. I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. But with that said, I am so irrevocably damaged by you. You don’t even realize how long it took me to pick myself up again after you. To stop crying every night. To stop thinking about you and how much you meant to me. To stop constantly questioning my self-worth.” I paused for a second, trying to compose my thoughts and emotions, needing to get it all out in the open.
“And even when I finally tried to move on, to put all the pieces of my life back together, I realized my puzzle was never going to be whole or finished because of you and the kind of love we shared, but I made it work, and I learned to be okay with never finding or having that again. I was happy with Kyle, yet I still compared everything and everyone to you. I still couldn’t help myself and continued to torture myself by picking up every magazine with your face on it just to get a glimpse of the man who was supposed to be mine.”
He stood, and I held out my hand, halting his approach.
“Please, don’t. You can’t touch me anymore because I can’t stop you from feeling like home to me too. I never wanted to be put in this situation to begin with, and to have you take advantage of it with this illusion of us is not fucking fair to me! For fuck’s sake…” I shook my head. “I gave up my career to follow a man who didn’t deserve me, all because I couldn’t risk wondering what-if ever again. I did that with you, and to this day, I continue to think of the future we were supposed to have despite hating you.”
He reached for me again, and I stepped back.
“We can still have that, beauty. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.”
“You promise? How many promises have you broken? That’s so easy for you to say! It’s so easy for you to move forward when I wasn’t the one who left you behind or screwed you over.”
“I was trying to make a life for us, Capri. A life you deserved!”
Tears rimmed my eyes. “That’s the difference between you and me, Elias. All I wanted was a life with you. I didn’t care about the glitz and glamour or the money. All I wanted was you. I would have taken you poor with nothing. How did you not see that? How could you be so blinded by your pride that you didn’t know that?”
