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She was mine, and I had no problem whatsoever reminding her of that.
Case and point, she screeched out, “You asshole!” shouting in my face.
I stepped toward her, and she instantly backed away, once again holding out her hand in front of her to stop me.
“Yeah! I’m a fucking asshole, but I will die before I ever apologize for making sure he would do right by you. Do you understand me?”
“You’re such an idiot.” She fervently shook her head. “You’re so blinded by your damn pride you don’t even see it! You don’t even realize it!” She put her arm down and stepped toward me. “I can’t believe you did that! How could you do that to me? How could you hurt me like that?”
I caught her open palm that was coming at my face. She forcefully tried to tug her arm away, but I used the momentum to pull her toward me instead. She lost her footing and began to fall forward as her free hand collided with my chest, giving her leverage.
I hugged her against me. “You need to calm down.”
“You cannot do this! You cannot manhandle me every time just to get your way! It’s not fair!” she yelled.
“Unlucky for you, I don’t give a shit.”
I leaned her back, placing her against the car door to lock her in place. I did the only thing I could do to confess the truth behind my intentions. I placed my hand over her mouth.
Her nostrils flared, and her chest heaved.
“You are so fucking beautiful it hurts me to look at you sometimes.”
Her eyes widened, not expecting what she had just heard.
“You’re not going to talk,” I ordered, shaking my head. “You’re going to listen to every word I have to say.” I nodded, gently letting my hand fall from her mouth.
If she continued to fight me, I’d have to cover her mouth again to get my point across. I had to explain. I knew it was the only way she would ever forgive me or at least begin to.
She swallowed hard but didn’t say anything.
“Yes, Amber used to work for me. And yes, I did essentially have her take the position of Kyle’s secretary after I learned you quit your job to move to California with him.”
Her eyebrows pinched together.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you, beauty. I did it so she could watch over him and ensure he was a good enough man for you. I needed to make sure because if he was, I was going to leave you alone. It’s why I stayed away. I thought you were happy, and I had to have peace of mind that he would make you happy and wouldn’t hurt you like I did.” I paused to let my truths sink in.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you in pain again. I never expected Amber and Kyle to fall for each other. It was never part of the plan. I didn’t find out about them until she told me you caught them in bed together, and I haven’t spoken to her since.” I grabbed her face. “I would have come for you if I thought for one second he was going to cheat on you. I thought I was finally doing right by you, and I’ll have to live with myself that I didn’t fight for you sooner.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, not saying a word, though she didn’t have to. Her eyes spoke volumes all by themselves. She didn’t move, her gaze intently placed on my face, waiting for the next thing I would confess. The expression on her face softened, and it gave me the push to keep going.
“I know I’m an asshole. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. But at the end of the day, I’ve loved you from the second I ever laid eyes on you, and I need you to forgive me.”
She frowned, sad for me.
“No, beauty, this isn’t about you feeling bad for me.”
I could tell she wanted to say something, but the need to know what I had to say was too strong for her to interrupt me.
“When you grow up like I did, I can’t express to you how traumatizing that was. You’re the biggest reason I overcome that. The way you looked at me, spoke to me, loved me… I’d never experienced that before, and as much as I loved it, it fucking terrified me. The thought of losing you was petrifying, yet I still allowed it to happen. I’m the reason you left me. I’m the reason you felt broken. And I’ll be the reason you’ll be whole again.”
She hid a smile.
“After years of struggling without you, I found you again. But I was too late. You were with Kyle, and I didn’t want to mess with that. I did the next best thing. I made sure he’d put you first, and the second I found out he didn’t, I did instead.” I lingered, staring deep into her eyes. “I. Love. You.”
Her mouth parted, and I swear I could feel her heart beating against my chest.
“Except I know, Capri. I fucked up. It’s all my fault. I’m just hoping, praying, that I’ll come out a better man who would rather die than to see you crying again.”
