I throw the phone away, and falling onto my knees in the middle of my apartment, I allow the pain to spread and overflow.
I only move when a loud sequence of knocks resounds inside the too-silent apartment.
Where have the sounds of our laughter and chats gone?
It’s been only a few days, so how can I miss them so much already?
With effort, I pull myself to my feet and walk to the door. When I open it, a double pair of arms wrap around me and pull me close. I let myself go because I’m sure they won’t leave me.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. I thought everything was perfect.”
“Did he say anything?”
“No, I woke up, and he wasn’t here. Then I fell asleep, and your call woke me up.”
“Could he have gone somewhere?”
“I don’t know. But if that was the case, wouldn’t he have left a message or waited for me to be up?”
“Maybe . . .”
There are no excuses. I fell for his promises once again. I want to cry enough to remove any presence of Gael from my system. But I know it’ll take more than that to forget him.
“If I find that fucker, I’m going to punch him,” Rebecca says, her voice full of anger.
Mel and I look at each other, surprised. A snort is pulled out of me at seeing my usually calm and collected sister going apeshit crazy because Gael hurt me again.
“I love you,” I say to her, and she deflates like a balloon and rushes to hug me again.
“I love you too, Cam.”
“What am I going to do?”
“I know it hurts right now, but with time, you’ll move on again.”
“I wasn’t able to forget him in ten years. How will I do it now?”
“It won’t be easy, but now you know you can’t trust him.”
I believed him last night. My heart cries out.
I gave him my broken heart because I really believed he’d treasure it.
How could I have been so wrong?
Chapter Eighteen
Gael
It took me too long to get everything done, so there’s no chance that Cameron is still asleep. I would have loved to watch him waking up in my arms. But I couldn’t wait. I needed to close those chapters of my life. My dad and my old life. Only by doing that can I begin a life with Cammy.
I’m not sure why I felt the need to see my old man, especially after becoming one with Cameron, but I’m glad I did. Seeing him with the eyes of a man and not a boy has made me realise I’m no longer afraid of him. Made me realise I have everything I need in Cammy, with Cammy.
Cameron doesn’t need me to be perfect, or make grand gestures, he just needs me as I am.
This is what I’m going to say to him.