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“Holland, I shouldn’t have kissed her,” he says suddenly. All traces of amusement are gone from his eyes, and there’s something else—something I can’t decipher—in its place.
“Then why did you?” I ask, my voice wavering.
Shit.Get it together, Holland.
“Because I’m a dumb ass, just like you said.” He gives his head a shake. “Everyone was sitting around; some people were making out... I ignored my instincts and your advice.”
“Live and learn, I guess.” I break off a piece of my brownie. “It’s just that she really likes you, Eli. I can’t stress that enough. I have to listen to her talk about you non-stop every time she’s near me. It’s exhausting.”
Eli’s eyebrows go up. “She talks about me with you?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve tried to explain that you aren’t the kind of guy she should go after, but she doesn’t care.”
“What, exactly, did you say?”
I take another sip of my coffee. “Are we being honest here?”
“Aren’t friends usually honest with each other?”
“Friends,” I echo, looking down at my brownie. “Hopefully friends are honest with one another.”
“So be honest with me.”
I lift my gaze and look straight into his light brown eyes. “I told her that you’re nothing but a player, and she needs to stay as far away from you as possible.”
He’s silent for a moment as he studies me. “You think I’m a player?”
“Yes, I do. Should I think otherwise?” I challenge.
“Players lead women on,” he argues. “I don’t do that. I’m honest about things from the word ‘go.’”
“Maybe, but I don’t know if you’ve ever really stopped to consider the trail of broken hearts you’re leaving behind, honest or not.” I pause. “Most of those girls want more from you, Eli. They just take the crumbs you give them because in their mind, it’s better than nothing.”
He laughs, but it’s a bitter sound and devoid of any humor.
“Do you really think that those girls aren’t usingme, too, Holland? Most of them want to be seen with me, or they want to sleep with one of the stars of the hockey team to boost their social status. They latch onto me because I’m popular. And since I got drafted, it’s only gotten worse.”
He rakes a hand through his dark hair and blows out a breath. “People just want a piece of me. Peoplealwayswant a piece of me. I don’t know who the hell likes me for me anymore.”
His speech has left me stunned and ashamed for judging him so harshly. I didn’t stop to think about how people might be using him, too, or of the possibility he could be getting hurt in the process.
Instead, I’ve painted all jocks—Eli included—with the same brush because of my past, assuming they were exactly like the cruel guys who did me dirty in high school, or arrogant assholes like Linc.
As I open my mouth to respond, I’m interrupted by a group of guys banging on the glass window of the bakery. They motion for Eli to come outside.
“Are those your friends?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He wipes off his mouth and drains the water bottle before placing it down on the table. “I have to go.”
“Were they supposed to meet you here?”
He shrugs. “I told them I might stop by.”
Once again, I try to keep a perfect poker face, but knowing this outing wasn’t a spontaneous trip to hang out with me just rubs me the wrong way.
It makes me feel like I was just another way to pass the time until he was able to get back to his real life.
It’s not exactly the same thing he’d done to Mandi, but it isn’t all that different, either.
