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“No, you didn’t. You said it was shitty. You said it was wrong. The one thing youneversaid was that you were sorry!”
“Do you think I’m not?” he asked, uttering a harsh laugh. “Fucking hell. I can’t believe this.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and her throat began to ache as she wrestled with her out-of-control emotions.
Only one man had ever been able to make her cry, and he was standing right in front of her. And just like all those years ago, she didn’t want him to see her do it. She prided herself on being tough, and getting all vulnerable and weepy didn’t exactly fit that image.
Sadly, she didn’t think she had a choice in the matter anymore. His kisses had broken her, and talking to Penn had dragged her to a dark place she hadn’t been in a very long time. Not to mention what had happened at the gas station—him putting himself in danger for her—left her confused and out of sorts.
It was like she was nineteen years old all over again.
“We were friends,” she choked out, hot tears spilling down over her cheeks. “Goodfriends. And yes, I did have a crush on you, but I was willing to fight against it because I valued your friendship over everything. I cherished it. But then we slept together, and instead of talking about things afterward, you just... you just destroyed it. And you not only destroyed it, for some reason you felt the need to destroymein the process,” she cried, slapping her hand against her chest. “You ended things like a coward! You couldn’t even be a man about it and talk to me. You knew exactly how things would go when you put your arm around Stacie. You let that do all of the work for you.”
His face paled as he stared down at her, and he dropped his hands to his sides.
Holly dragged her fists down over her eyes, then shook her head. “You nuked our friendship like it meant absolutely nothing to you. Like it meant nothing! How could youdothat?”
The expression on his face was so anguished she almost couldn’t take it.
“Holly,” he murmured. “Holly, you have to—”
“No.” She held up a hand. “No, I’m not doing this anymore. Whatever this... thisgameis that you’ve been playing with me? It ends now.”
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she looked up at him again, this time not even bothering to brush at the tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Back then, I believed you were a good guy. Good, but a little misguided. And then you ruined us, and I hated you for it. But now, somehow, it’s worse, because every once in a while, I see glimpses of the good guy that I remember, and it’s tough to reconcile him with this...” She gestured at him. “Whatever this is you’ve become. I need to come to terms with the fact that the person I remember doesn’t exist anymore. He’s just... gone.”
“You’re wrong.” His voice cracked, and he took a step forward. “You’rewrong, Holly. Look at me. I’m standing right in front of you. I’m stillme.”
Holly backed away from him and glanced down at the pavement. “No, you’re not. But maybe you were never that guy to begin with. I do know one thing, though, and it’s that I’m done.”
She started to turn around, but his hand came down on her shoulder.
“What do you mean, you’re done?” he asked, his gaze searching her face.
“I mean I’mdone,” she said, her voice rising. “Tell Lyla she can write the article. I’m removing myself from the project.”
“Don’t do this.”
She shrugged him off, then swallowed hard. “No. I’m done. And as far as we’re concerned? This right here is goodbye. I don’t ever want to see you again, Eli. In fact, I wish I’d never evenmetyou.”
She spun away, hurrying toward her front door as fast as her heels would take her.
Just like the first time, it wasn’t the ending she’d wanted. But itwasan end, and maybe now she could finally find some peace.
15
‘Iwish I’d never even met you.’
Holly’s front door closed with a solidthunkas she ran into the apartment.
He stared at the bland, beige-colored door, and the first thought that came to mind was that if there was ever a sound that could punctuate a goodbye, that one had certainly done the job.
No.
“Holly!” He ran toward the ugly door, then beat his fist against it. “Holly, don’t do this. We need to talk.”
Leaning his forehead against the wood, he sucked in large gulps of air in an attempt to calm himself.
