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F I V E
- Maeve -
When Kurt told me he’d have to meet me at Alicia’s, I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I brushed it aside, though, choosing to focus on how pleased I was that he’d agreed to come.
After all, there was no way I could bail. I already promised James and Maddy I’d be there, and they were obnoxiously excited that I’d finally accepted an invitation to one of Alicia’s infamous parties. Plus, even though I always thought going out on New Year’s was for amateurs, something was stirring in me, and I was feeling strangely antsy in my own skin. Like something had to change. Like I had to change.
It was kind of freaking me out, to be honest. I mean, I had this smart, driven boyfriend who was always dressed impeccably (which I loved), and I’d recently earned the promotion I’d been working towards for two years. I had a nice place and good savings. I should’ve felt like my life was coming together. Like all my ducks were in a row.
Instead, I felt unsettled and anxious, and anxiety was something I always thought plagued other people. So I refused to admit that’s what it was, despite the dark shadow it was casting around the edge of my thoughts.
Anyway, I could see why Alicia’s parties were legendary. The woman clearly spared no expense when it came to decorating. If James hadn’t told me otherwise, I would’ve assumed she was in the events management business. Even the tiered cupcake tower she ordered for the occasion was nicer than most wedding cakes I’d seen, and I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the way the edible gold glitter clung to the chocolate icing.
“When’s the Dockers model due to arrive?” Quinn joked, topping up my white wine.
I glowered at him, but part of me was pleased my sister’s boyfriend liked Kurt enough to give him a pet name. “He should be here soon.”
Maddy waltzed into the room in a short dress that shone like a disco ball. “Hey, guys.” She set her drink on the butcher block and joined me in admiring the cake. “It’s almost too pretty to eat.”
I nodded. “I can see why you guys never miss her parties.”
“Have James and Brie arrived yet?” she asked. “I thought they’d be here by now.”
“Traffic,” Quinn said, smiling into his glass.
Maddy elbowed him.
“You guys making any resolutions?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “To spend more time with you and Kurt.”
I looked at her gratefully, but the mention of his name only tightened the nerves in my chest. “What about you?” I asked, turning to Quinn.
“That’s something you do when you want to change something about yourself, right?” he asked, pretending he was unfamiliar with the concept.
Maddy rolled her eyes.
“I’ve heard of people doing that.” Quinn slipped his hand across my sister’s lower back and pulled her a bit closer. “Never saw much point in doing it myself, though.”
I laughed.
“What about you?” Maddy asked, her brows lifting.
“I want to be more like Quinn,” I said, disappointed it didn’t sound funnier out loud. My small purse started vibrating against my thigh then, and hope flooded my chest. “Excuse me,” I said, pulling my phone out to confirm it was Kurt. “I’ll be right back.”
I left the kitchen and turned down the hall, heading towards the quieter side of the condo as I answered. “Hi,” I said, trying not to sound impatient. “Where are you?”
“I’m not going to come.”
His words were like a sucker punch, and I stole away behind the next door I came to, which ended up being Alicia’s en suite. It smelled like roses, and pink and blue pebbles bordered a path of round tiles trailing across the floor. “What do you mean? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“We don’t have to stay long,” I said. “Just come make an appearance. Everyone’s excited to see you.” I didn’t really know if that was true, but it seemed like the thing to say. It was what people always told me when I didn’t feel like showing, anyway.
“This isn’t working out, Maeve.”
I closed the door to the hall, turned my back on the mirror, and leaned against the sink top.
