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I rolled my eyes.
“But it means a lot that you think I’m a gifted musician.”
I shook my head, forgetting for a moment that I was supposed to be feeling sorry for myself.
“So, your dream guy. Describe him to me.”
“I don’t even know you.”
“That’s the beauty of it,” he said, turning his palms towards the ceiling. “You can be totally honest.”
I stuck out my bottom lip. “Fair point.”
“Come on,” he said. “I’m dying to know. Just for fun. I’d never try to woo a girl like you, anyway.”
I cocked my head.
“Too capable,” he said, answering my unspoken question.
I sighed. “Fine.” It’s not like it was a hard question. I spent a year looking at sperm donor profiles before I met Kurt, thinking of little else apart from what qualities I admired. “I guess flossing is a big one.”
He nearly fell back from shock. “Flossing?! That’s your number one criteria?!”
“It’s less about the flossing and more about ruling out the kind of people who don’t floss.”
“I see,” he said, making a face like I’d surprised him again. “What else?”
“Having a good job is important.”
“Define ‘good’?”
I shrugged. “Something you don’t hate, with decent compensation.”
“The guy sounds like a hoot so far. No question your kid’s going to grow up to be a comedian.”
“Very funny,” I said. “And I wouldn’t want my kid to grow up to be a comedian, anyway. So few make it. I’d want my kid to do something safer.”
“You mean something that involves a desk and a pension?”
“Ideally.”
His lips formed a straight line like he was trying not to laugh at me.
“What?” I asked. “Why are you making that face?”
He pointed at his wry smile. “This? This is my listening face.”
“Well it’s a bit smug.”
“Please,” he said. “Continue.”
“Someone without a smug listening face.”
He laughed. “Nice. I love that you’re updating the list in real time.”
I was starting to feel a little embarrassed. I mean, I’d been honest so far, but this guy must’ve thought I sounded like such a square. It was too late to backpedal, though, so I figured I’d hammer one last damning nail in the coffin. “Bonus points if his dream girl is a workaholic homebody.”
I expected him to laugh in my face, but instead, his eyes softened, and he looked at me like he was really seeing me for the first time. I wasn’t sure I liked it. It wasn’t an unkind expression. If anything, it was the opposite, but it made me feel vulnerable and delicate, which was the last thing I wanted. I turned back to my drink, my thoughts feeling a little fuzzy at the edges.
