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I couldn’t argue with her since I was unabashedly those things. But I was also morally opposed to changing myself just so I could be more compatible with a guy who was imperfect in his own ways. Besides, since when was being a homebody socially unacceptable?
For the amount of Netflix everyone seemed to be watching, there was no way I was the only person whose happiness was directly correlated to how much time I spent in my pajamas. But that’s the hideous thing about relationships. They make you question how loveable you are, and there’s nothing more exhausting.
“I guess life was just easier when I didn’t care what anyone thought of me,” I admitted finally. “I much preferred focusing on my own interests to all this wondering whether I’m loveable and attractive and worth knocking up.”
“Maeve,” Maddy said. “You are all those things.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“True for me to say.”
I forced a smile, but opening up to her had only increased my frustration.
“I bet any guy in here would love to knock you up.”
“I don’t want just any guy to do it,” I said, dreading the thought of going back to the drawing board. “I want the right guy to do it.”
“It sounds like you don’t think Kurt’s The Guy anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” I said. “If he doesn’t want to be The Guy, I’m wasting my time.”
Maddy’s brown eyes shone with a pity that threatened to spoil my appetite.
“How did you know?” I asked suddenly.
“How did I know what?”
“That you wanted to team up with Quinn forever.”
She considered the question for a moment before answering. “I like who I am with him,” she said. “And I like the woman I think I could become with him by my side.
I nodded. “So he doesn’t make you feel like a lame party pooper?”
“No,” she said. “Never.”
“Fuck,” I mumbled. “Let’s get some drinks already.”
