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“Big of you.”
“What else can I do?” I asked. “If two people say they’re happy, who am I to insist they’re not?”
“Mmm,” he grumbled, chewing on my comment. “Speaking of happy, how are things going with the ginger accountant.”
“Good question.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“There was,” I admitted, feeling bad that my white lie had been so long lived. “But I think we may have turned a corner.”
“What happened?”
I didn’t know how much or how little to say, though part of me hoped, perhaps naïvely, that James would be more understanding than Maeve had been. “I think he freaked out because things were moving kind of fast, and he’s a bit of a commitment-phobe.”
“When you say freaked out…?”
“He tried to break things off and said a few things that really hurt my feelings.”
“What did he say?” James asked, an intimidating urgency in his voice.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said. “He apologized and asked for a second chance, and I’m going to give him one.”
“Why?”
“Because no one’s ever made me feel the way I feel when I’m with him.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, digging for more.
“I mean I’ve been on a lot of dates, a lot of second dates, a lot of third—”
“Okay, I get it.”
I smiled, wondering if he’d ever see me as anything other than his kid sister. “Anyway, he’s not like the other guys I’ve met. His attention makes me feel strong and special and…sexy. Like a capable adult instead of a guppy caught in a current.”
Silence.
“Sorry if that’s too much information.”
“I’m the one who asked,” he said. “Besides, I guess I’m happy to hear that.”
My neck lunged forward. “You guess?”
“Well, I’m pissed that he hurt you already,” he said. “That’s concerning.”
“I’d rather be hurt by him than loved by anyone else.” I knew it was a crazy thing to say as soon as I said it, but I didn’t care. It was the truth. My truth.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Maddy.”
“Whereas I don’t want him to get hurt, and I think being without me for the last two weeks hurt him. I mean, he pretends to be this heartless badass, but I think he’s more like a puppy that’s been kicked so hard it’s forgotten how to cuddle.”
“The guy sounds like a project,” he said. “I don’t want you to be one of those women that tries to change every guy you date and always ends up disappointed.”
“You don’t get it,” I said, desperate to make him understand. “He’s the one that wants to change.”
“He said that?”
“Yeah.” I glanced out the window at the sprawling city below. “And I know it’s going to take time. Nothing worthwhile ever happens overnight.”
