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S E V E N

- Lucy -

I felt like a crazy woman.

I knew I should call a cab, especially when it started to rain. But once my dress was soaked through, I was actually kind of relieved, cause I didn’t have to keep yanking it down to avoid flashing people in the street.

Not that there were many people around. Except for nutcases who ran first thing on weekend mornings even when it was raining. I mean, who does that? Sleep the fuck in and procrastinate like a normal person.

Though I suppose the lycra donned go getters were judging me just as harshly considering my pathetic excuse for morning running gear, and they didn’t even know I was going commando.

Eventually I got used to them. In fact, I even started doling out isolated head nods as they passed, wishing them well as they trained… probably for some race that would be both their crowning glory and the catalyst for the arthritic knees that would chase them for the rest of their life.

Mostly, though, I was hating on them to distract myself from the fact that the warm rain was washing the smell and feeling of my best friend’s sexual energy off me, and I couldn’t decide how I felt about it.

Of course, even when I put sleeping with Aiden out of my mind for fleeting moments, I still couldn’t put the feeling of him inside me out of my pussy. Cause he had made quite the impression. Perhaps a permanent one. In fact, I feared I would never be tight or walk right again.

But I didn’t want to regret it. In fact, if I could ignore the fact that it was Aiden for a second, I could appreciate that the sex had been incredible. Really incredible. And I was no stranger to casual sex.

Of course, there was nothing casual about what happened between us last night. It wasn’t funny or lighthearted or something I was looking forward to laughing about with him. It was serious and intense. As soon as his lips were on mine, everything went fuzzy, like my values and my ability to make rational decisions.

As a result, things went too far. I let him explore me with his hands, his tongue. I actually touched his penis which he’d clearly stolen from one of his sister’s horses for the night. I mean, holy shit?! And then I let him fuck me with his throbbing monster dick! And worse, I’d asked him to do it, moaned his name, and come harder than I even thought was possible.

Right into his mouth.

And he had slurped me up with enthusiasm!

How could I ever look at him again?!

Everything was different now. All the barriers that made our friendship so strong, so resilient, had been torn down in a single, crazy night, and now I had nothing but a sore pussy and a headache.

I’d followed Fiona’s advice to do what felt good, and now I felt like crap.

Sure, it had been great while I’d been coming like a geyser, but when he fell asleep with his arm over me, I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What if I was just his rebound girl?

He was probably so used to Chelsea putting out that he just got backed up when he kicked her out. And I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, or the totally wrong place depending on how I looked at it.

I mean, Aiden was experienced. Picking up women was something that caused him zero stress. Most of the time, he could just look at a girl funny, and she’d be ready to take off her clothes. But I was a little more of a challenge because he never saw the goods before, and yet, I was vulnerable, too, because deep down I loved him and wanted him to be happy.

But seducing me was probably a joke to him.

And all the lines he fed me about being sexy and my friendship meaning so much to him made me fall right into his trap. I must have been so excited after all these years to be the person he was spitting game at that I forgot myself, forgot our history.

And now that I’d finally stopped shaking, it was obvious that I’d let myself down. What’s more, I let down the little girl who got her feelings hurt so many times, the little girl inside me that promised herself she wouldn’t have inappropriate feelings for him because it was nothing but a one way ticket to a broken heart. And not only had I had inappropriate feelings, but I had acted on them, and I had only myself to blame.

After all, he was a guy. I couldn’t expect him to be the one who exercised self-control. That was always my job. For good reason.

So why had I forgotten myself?

Was it because I really wanted to believe things could be different if we met some other way? Did I get swept up in the fairytale of going on a Tinder date with him? Was I that pathetic?

To be honest, that thought gave me some comfort. Maybe if I looked at it like we were roll playing, I could push last night to one side and keep it from interfering with the friendship I so cherished. Maybe I could pretend the Aiden I was with last night was a different Aiden entirely.

Then again, he was a different Aiden. From the way he treated me to the way he looked at me, there was something different in the air between us. It was no wonder I lost the run of myself. I wasn’t out with my best friend last night. I was out with an experienced womanizer who had one thing on his mind.

And that thing was getting me out of my clothes and fucking me senseless, which he did. Except he didn’t start by fucking me senseless. If it had only been about that, maybe I could’ve separated myself from it better like I usually did when a relationship was just about sex.

But he went down on me.

Which changed everything. Because as open minded as I was about casual sex, I wasn’t the kind of person that engaged in casual oral sex. As far as I was concerned, there was only one arena where oral sex was appropriate and that was in the context of a committed relationship.

But Aiden hadn’t even given me a chance to opt out. He was too enthusiastic, too sexy for me to stop him from crossing that line. And as soon as I felt his strong fingers and his warm breath between my thighs, I might as well have been strapped down.

I let him have his way with me because there was no one in the world that it was harder for me to say no to. Because as I lied exposed on his bed with his hypnotic dick straining over me, I couldn’t think of a single reason not to seize the day.

And my giving in had made him happy.

I just couldn’t tell yet whether it had done the same for me.

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