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“Shut up. Seriously, who are you bringing?”
“Why does it matter?”
“I’m curious. Plus, I need to know if she’s a vegetarian.”
“She’s not.”
“So you have someone in mind?”
“No, but whoever I bring won’t be a vegetarian.”
“Or a pescetarian?”
“What?”
“Sorry,” she said. “I don’t even know why I asked you that. I can’t remember the last time I met a girlfriend of yours that was even interested in food.”
I sighed.
“Why don’t you bring Lucy?”
“What?”
“Lucy Ryan.”
“What made you say that?”
“Cause I would love to see her, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about you.”
“Why’s that?”
“Cause you’re always better behaved when she’s around.”
“Maybe I don’t want to behave at your wedding.”
“Pleease.”
“When was the last time you even saw her? Not that it matters. It’s just kind of random that you mentioned her.”
“I don’t know. She’s the only girlfriend of yours I could think of that I actually like.”
“Wow.”
“Just saying. Plus, she knows the family and stuff so you’d be able to relax and focus on what’s really important.”
“What’s that?”
“Making me look good in your speech.”
“I guess you’re right. That will take all of my creative attention.”
“Ha Ha,” she said. “Seriously, though, I think it’s a great idea. Probably the best I’ve had all day.”
“Did Mom put you up to this?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course.”
