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“Just on the lips or-”
I shook my head. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.
Fiona gasped. “Did you guys hook up?”
I nodded.
“Oh my god I’m so jealous.”
I laughed. “What about Peter?”
“I adore Peter, but Aiden’s Aiden. His arms are like tree trunks.”
“All three of them,” I said.
“Fuck off.”
I sighed.
“I’m actually speechless,” she said. “I’ve been waiting for this day since- I don’t know- since you introduced me to him, and you’re being so nonchalant right now I could strangle you.”
I shrugged. “How should I be acting?”
“Excited? Happy? Over the fucking moon?”
“Well, I wish I could say I was those things, but-”
“But what?”
“I’m mostly just confused.”
Fiona shook her head. “Why can’t you just be happy about it? I mean, it’s a good thing, right? It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
“That’s the thing,” I said, pulling my knees to my chest. “I used to want it, but then I spent ten years convincing myself that I only wanted to be friends so I feel… totally messed up.”
“Wasn’t it good though? It had to be good. It’s fucking Aiden.”
“Yeah, of course it was good. He was incredible. Better than-”
“What?”
I didn’t want to say anyone ever. It sounded too ridiculous even in my head. “Just really good.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“What if it was just a rebound thing for him? I mean, he knows me well enough that it couldn’t have been hard to say the right things to win me over. Like what if it was just a joke?”
“It wasn’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Cause he’s your best friend.”
“So?”
“So he wouldn’t dick you around like that.”
“But he’s still a guy. Maybe he didn’t mean to, but he was just horny and-”
